# when i fall in love.

2010-05-05T02:33:00.003+08:00

Partially moved. But I think I am still going to retain this space. It, contains a huge part of me.

2010-04-02T18:56:00.002+08:00

Just let this circle of interdependence continue till the end of time. ♥

2010-03-30T15:34:00.002+08:00

It's hard for me to say the things
I want to say sometimes
There's no one here but you and me
And that broken old street light
Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words when I

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

I never knew I had a dream
Until that dream was you
When I look into your eyes
The sky's a different blue
Cross my heart
I wear no disguise
If I tried, you'd make believe
That you believed my lies

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

You pick me up when I fall down
You ring the bell before they count me out
If I was drowning you would part the sea
And risk your own life to rescue me

Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words when I

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

When I couldn't fly
Oh, you gave me wings
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

To my precious girls (if you are close to me, you'll know that I am talking about you), thank you for loving me :) Even when I am annoying, even when I am such a hopeless fangirl, even when I start to go missing in action cos of work and classes, even when I complain like a bitch, even when I am blabbering Korean that you don't understand, you girls never left my side. I love you babes a lot.

2010-02-24T01:32:00.003+08:00

A more comfortable sight for Yanhui I hope :D

Life's been still the same these few weeks. March's gonna be a blast (in both good and bad way) for me. First week, results. Second week, SHINee. Third week, Super Junior. Wah, my heart cannot take the ups and down rides.

Made quite a few new friends these few weeks. Became amazingly close with some of them, or maybe few of them. Found joy in talking to old friends once again. It's like, when you are really close to someone, it really doesn't matter how long you haven't been talking to her? Talked to Yanhui several nights ago. It's amazing how we can find endless topics to talk about all the way till 4am and end up pretty much very dead the next day. But it's a feeling that I cherish a lot. It makes me feel that, I haven't lost this friend. You understand what I mean?

As compared to some people my age, I admit, I am still quite a crazy and immature being? I mean, I don't like to be all deep in thoughts all the time. I don't like to be the mature one all the time? It's like only in about one year's time that I am going to hit the big 2. I don't want to mature so fast. Because I don't want people to expect so much from me. You know?

I hate it that we are forced to grow up in this fast paced environment. I hate it that there are always some expectations to meet.

I was saying to some, the reason why am I so high all the time in front of others, is solely due to the fact that I don't like awkward situations. I don't like people to feel that they are not enjoying themselves when they are with me. That's why I am perpetually high. Low self-esteem much? I just wished that someone who understood me perfectly would just come by. So that I don't need to explain so much to them. Without me saying, they'll know how I feel, what I think deep inside.

I am going back to the days where I start to put on a false front.

I miss my girls a lot.

2010-02-15T14:12:00.003+08:00

My life now totally doesn't have time for blogging man. Everyday, I come home feeling so drained and tired. And in one week, 3 days are already taken up by lessons. Korean lessons and dance lessons. Though I am really damn tired every single day, I enjoy it like crazy. Feels like my time this holiday is fully maximised. I like this feeling :) Need to click the "like" button on Facebook. HAHAHAHAS.

And when I am home, I will be fangirl-ing like crazy. So as usual, there will be no time to blog. And on those days when I have no lessons, I will be meeting up with friends to catch up on their lives and all. Wow, now I finally understand the pain of being an adult. You really, have no time for your friends. Or at least, you won't be able to meet up with every single one of your cherished friends. For friends whom I haven't been meeting up with, I AM SO SORRY! MIN AN HA MIN DA! :(

But at the very least, this weekend, I met my lovelys! :D At least some of them!! On Saturday, IT WAS WENYI'S BIRTHDAYYYY! :D Yaye yaye! She's 19 now (oldoldold) HAHAHAS.

She is a friend whom I don't ever want to lose. She was always there for me whenever I needed someone to lean on, someone to cry on, someone to hear me rant. It's so natural for my fingers to type her number on my home phone or my handphone when I needed to talk to someone. And furthermore, she keeps me in check. Heh. She is never afraid to tell me the honest things even though I may get angry. Thanks for being my mirror, showing me what to do and what not to do. You have been an awesome friend to me. Really. I want to be that very same awesome friend to you (though I think I am not there yet because when I fangirl I tend to neglect...). Thanks for being so patient with me throughout the almost seven years that we have been through! Love you to the maximum my dear :)

Oh yes, I can't wait for March to come! My month of fangirl-ing.

OKAY relatives are here to visit! TATA :)

2010-02-03T22:27:00.003+08:00

I don't think I am going to talk about my fangirl moments here since they are already up on Facebook. Go to my Facebook notes if you are ever interested read about my fan accounts and how crazy I was. I am like still dead tired. I think this whole week I will feel like dying every single day. I freaking have work till 10pm tomorrow and I think I have a full day at work on Saturday. Oh gosh, just kill me already :(

Recently my mood hasn't been really good. Except for all the fangirl moments also. I am starting to detest you a lot. Like honestly. Nevermind. Some will know. The others, nevermind.

Okay, till I upload SHINee's pictures then :D

2010-01-23T00:54:00.004+08:00

You know the feeling of being at peace? Like, you are so comfortable with this stage of your life that you don't want to change anything? That's what I am currently feeling right now. Somehow it feels so weird talking about such stuff on this blog. Maybe cos fallenapart.bs.com has always been a place where it's rants and daily updates about my life but it never really contained what I feel inside? Well, I doubt many read this blog now, so doesn't matter, can say what I want to say. HAHAHAS.

I don't know if it's the holiday mood getting into me? Cos I was rushing temporary assignments the week before and all, and now it's like a little short break before I head on to official admin job where I will work a routine of 9 to 5. It feels good, especially these few days. I have been meeting people for lunch, like going down specially just to have lunch with them. And trying to find dates with people that I wanna meet up with for the longest time ever. It feels good. (: And the rest of the time, I just spend it fangirl-ing and doing the things that I like.

Thought about quite a bit of things these few days. It has been the computer and me for majority of the time spent at home. Looking at people's lives (yes, I mean stalking people's blogs) and how they view things have broadened some of my perspectives.

Honestly, 2010 has just started. But it already feels like it is going to be an awesome year for me. Cos at least I think for me, this January, I grew quite a bit. Felt a little more responsible towards my family. Like, I should show more care and concern for my parents. I will date them out now (like how I date my papa to go shop at chinatown but he wasn't free.) And I will be dating my mama out for shopping too! :) I also felt a little more appreciative towards my friends. Like, the things that they do, are becoming more and more precious to me, more and more magnified in my life. And I am really thanking such angels in my life yknow.

I became more at ease with myself now. Think those who know me well should know, I am not really very good at spending time with myself. As in, I have been alone most of the time in my childhood days that it has became like, I became afraid of loneliness? It's kinda like that. But now, I found the joy in spending time alone. Just listening to music and reading a book. That can be one way that I spend my afternoon. Having lunch alone whilst reading a book. Never saw the joy in doing that, but now I see it :) It's a good feeling, really :)

And of course, those who have facebook should know. I have also become a mega big fangirl.

Wenyi: Of course I know you are crazy. But I didn't know that you were THAT
crazy.
Inez: ZOMG you are so mean! Where got crazy!
Wenyi: COMEON! I know you for 7 years! How can I not know you are crazy. I
am not blind yknow.

HAHAHAS I totally have awesome friends yeah?

Okay, going off to watch my TV drama now :) Have an awesome weekend darlings! I hope I will have an awesome weekend too! My 200310 dream! MAKE IT COME TRUE BABY! :)

2010-01-22T03:06:00.000+08:00

I like the feel of this picture. It speaks to me.

2010-01-21T02:42:00.000+08:00

Made a really crazy decision. But I am really looking forward to it yknow :) But now I need to decide which seats to take. Sigh. Oh God, just drop a hint please?

Off to sleep. Sleep tight darlings!

2010-01-17T02:05:00.002+08:00

I am honestly damn sleepy now. But I don't know why I am just too lazy to climb to my bed. Hahas. Lousy excuse I know. But I am not fangirl-ing tonight leh. What a good girl. "My life is now complete" is a phrase that I keep using nowadays! HAHAHAS cos of the good food that we had during work cos there was reception, my life was complete. Cos of the champagne that was available cos of reception (again), my life was complete. Honestly, the job is quite tiring cos it forces you to wear a smile every moment and greet people that you sometimes don't wanna greet? But I guess it is really a whole new experience and I'm starting to enjoy it.

Let's just hope I get the admin job okay. The pay is (y) the best :) Today was just Meet-a-friend day. Saw so many familiar people around. No one close, but hi-bye friends I saw a lot.

Okay I am sleepy. Should stop trying to bluetooth my high class photos. Show you all next time then! Till then, it's sleepyland with haehyukbumkyu! Heehee i am greedy :P

2010-01-15T02:00:00.002+08:00

You know the feeling of being able to depend on someone? Like you are able to lean on that person no matter what happens? I have always liked that type of feeling and I have always wanted to be that type of friend to my friends. Like no matter what happens, they can depend on me to be there for them, for them to seek comfort and all.

While it is easy to say all the sweet words "I'll be there for you" and all, when it comes to the real thing, many people will just walk away upon seeing your sad face because they just don't know what to do (or so they claim). I have been taught, through the hard way, that all will fail someday. But I honestly do thank God that He has placed so many angels in my life, who showed me that, even when they do fail sometimes, they are 99.9% there for me all the time. And on those times when they are not there, it just means that it is time for me to get up on my own and not depend on someone to heal my wounds yeah? :)

Life has been pretty fulfilling these few days. Maybe because I have been signing up for classes these few days and it feels good to have an aim in life yknow? Not just the usual studying aims, but aims to improve and better yourself. Learning dance, something which I have wanted to learn since Secondary 4, starting from 29th Jan :) Though it's like a one-song thing, it's a start! Will try to continue the hip-hop classes if possible! Learning Korean starting from next Monday onwards! So exciting!

Work has been cool too, learning new stuff about things that I never knew last time. Rose cut diamonds, tourmalines and what nots :) And of course, heart to heart time with Pinghui was something that was unexpected too! :D

Now, my short term aim, is to earn enough (and more) money for Korea trip that's tentatively in May :)

Yes yes Poryee, my secret stalker, I AM FINE! tskkk believe me once will you? REMEMBER TO DATE ME OUT BEFORE YOU ENLIST~~ (must shout like you) HAHAHAHHAAS.

Okay, sleepy time soon after uploading pics!

2010-01-11T23:46:00.002+08:00

Heehee it's time for some cute guys spam! I am updating from my computer so there are limited pictures of the cute four that I absolutely adore. So please just make do with these pictures till I am not that lazy to update from my lappie :)

Firstly, Kyuhyunnnnnnnnnn!

Honestly, he has a to-die-for voice and absolutely cute face :) And of course a very cheeky character. Aish, look at what watching too much korean variety shows has done to me. I am speaking as if I am their friend. HAHAHAS. But ohwells. His voice is just mega sexy okay. One of the four that I love!

Next up! Lee Donghae and Kim Kibum! Haiyo these 2 are just :)

Got see so cute guys before nottttt! :) Absolutely hot to the max please. Kibum totally has a like-able face and you totally just melt when you look into his eyes. Okay, don't get me started on Donghae cos I doubt I will be able to finish typing by tonight. So I shall leave my fangirling of Donghae till some other day. Maybe the day when I sleepover at Celeste house :)

What is the next best thing about having 2 cute guys that you like?

Well, the next best thing is that they are good friends with each other and there are so many Eunhae moments for you to capture. Donghae is in this picture, along with Hyukjae (better known as Eunhyuk!) So cute right the 2 of them. Aish, my fav fav of the lot. (:

Okay, I am supposed to post pictures of my life up on my blog but honestly, this is what my life has been all about these few days. Maybe just cos I want to chiong finish everything before I start work officially. Thinking of going into tuition-ing after finishing this temp assignment. Need the cash flowing into my bank account man. It is looking quite pathetic after me signing up for the dance class. Aish. Still got one more to sign up for. Ponders- Really wanna learn. :)

Because I am so over the topic called "Being Sad".

This is my current facebook status and I am liking it a lot. (:

I am surrounded by cute (faraway) guys everyday, surrounded by cute friends who cheer me up by bringing back past memories of our secondary school days, surrounded by bitchy friends (yes sushuen that's you) who bitch to me about totally detestable people stealing our love, surrounded by fellow fangirls who hyperventilate along with me when I fangirl, surrounded by enthusiastic friends who spontaneously signed up for dance classes with me, surrounded by wonderful family who is fangirling alongside with me!

Tell me tell me. This kind of life, why sad? There is no time to be sad.

To all my fan-tastic friends out there, thanks for always being a pillar of strength for me. All the time :) And, though words may not be exchanged often between us, I know yall care. Thanks, really! :D

Why be so emo when you know that there are so many friends out there worrying
for you?

I think, this statement makes absolute sense. (y)

2010-01-06T03:51:00.002+08:00

This is my 900th post in this blog. Wow, quite fantabulous. Koped this picture from J's blog.

Darlings, just want yall to know that I really love you girls loads alright? :) No matter how we have changed over the past few years, for the better for the worse, I know my love for yall hasn't changed one bit :) In fact, I think it grew to a bond that's more than friends.

I am really thankful that there are people around me who I can be so comfortable around. There is no need to hide my emotions, or tolerate things that I have no wish to tolerate. It's like, no matter what else goes on in my life, I know I have you girls to fall back on and cry to yknow? Even if we haven't been talking very much, when I see you people, I know it's home :)

Love you babes a lot and my dearest Manyu and Cel yeo too :)

What can I say. Friends like these, 可遇不可求 (:

2010-01-05T22:35:00.003+08:00

I am really tired and totally have zero energy to fangirl or update my blog. (But I may gain back the energy after I bathe, or not) So leaving you people with a picture of my boy :) Why you so cute luh. Mega love you you you. And the other 12 too :)

Quoted from Zhen, "I'm good on my own".

Added with my words, "I'm good on my own, especially with Suju with me :)"

Goodnights kids! Pictures soon, promise.

2010-01-02T02:32:00.002+08:00

There has been way too much fangirl-ing on my blog and way too little pictures of my face! So here's one picture to wish yall HAPPY NEW YEAR :) Hopefully 2010 will be awesome and kick-ass for all my friends and anon readers out there!

I promise I will upload my Taiwan trip pictures soon!

Okay la, not soon. Let's set a date. Let's see, Tuesday kay? My weekends are terribly packed :) Which I like of course. Flea later with Pinghui and Simin, maybe dinner with Yanhui. Flea on Sunday with Celeste and Audrey. Wah can't wait. So much flea-ing. Going to spend all my money and STOP ONCE AND FOR ALL. So that I can concentrate on saving money for my trips this year :) I am absolutely serious hor :) Don't think I say only. Excited for me not. Inez lau leh, going to save money.

Sometimes I really think I am talking to myself cos I doubt people actually do read my blog. But ohwells, let's just rant. It's 2.36am in the morning. I can't think straight anyway. HAHAHAS. Oh, and monday there's interview with Pinghui for some jewel promoter job. Hope I get it. Earn money baby :) Money money come to mommy! :)

Okay, I am going off to .. I don't know fangirl I think.

Sian, my life is a slug okay. Everyday eat sleep wake up fangirl sleep. Wah is major slug life but I kinda like it cos I know I will miss it when I am working. Aish. People are just not contented.

OKAY ending off with Leeteuk has the awesome-est character :) Kyuhyun has the awesome-est voice that I absolutely adore! Donghae has the dance moves that makes me go AWWWWW. The interaction among the members are just so damn freaking funny. And damn sweet luh. Okay please join me in this craze :) Cel is going to kill me cos she will accuse me of stealing her hae away. HAHAAHAS Whoops cel! Okayokay enough of a fangirl.

Signing off,
Slug and crazy fangirl :)

2009-12-31T16:15:00.002+08:00

A super nice sounding and soothing voice to accompany you through New Year's Eve :) He is mega hearts please.

2009-12-31T15:15:00.002+08:00

2009 is coming to an end already! It has been a rather bad year for me I guess? Okay la, not exactly bad, moderate. Though there are quite a lot of bad memories that I wished never existed, there are happy memories that I keep close to heart too!

This year, I got to know my classmates of 08S63 so much better :) Heart you girls! I think if I were to say that we are a random bunch of girls with absolutely different styles thrown together, no one would disagree. I mean, all our styles are so distinctively different! HAHAHAS. But it is still amazing how we click, how we mahjong, how we fangirl, how we gossip and how we shop :) And an amazing feat that we accomplished is, WE WENT ON AN OVERSEAS TRIP TOGETHER! Not everyone of our girls clique but it's still amazing :) Definitely unforgettable and memorable. HEE!

This year, I got to know my beloved HOUSE COMMITTEE people so much better :) All the going out - KBox and Botak Jones and airport yada yada are mega love. Although I am not close to every single one in house comm, being able to be high and happy around you guys is just so amazing. It's like there are endless topics to talk about and endless gossips to share :) Sad that I wasn't able to make it for the gathering but I'm sure there will be more! Love you guys and I would like Nobody Nobody But YOU to be my fellow 08-09 House Comm :)

This year, there are certain friends whom I drifted apart from. Some Secondary school friends, some JC friends. Sometimes I do wish that I spent more effort in maintaining the friendships between us. But I know that friends do drift apart. But it's not forever :) I will still ring yall up when we are all free and go on dates! It's a promise :)

This year, some friends still remained constant and hold a special place in my heart! It is amazing how we still keep in contact and have so much to say to each other whenever we meet. Magdalene, Mujia, Yanhui, Jeralyn, Tiffany, Wenyi, Celeste :) When I think about friends who remained constant this year, these few names came to mind. It's just so natural to text them when I am feeling unhappy in the middle of the night, or talk to them on MSN randomly. There is no need to specially think of a topic just to talk to these girls :) It's amazing and I want this to continue!!

This year, (just yesterday) I found a friend in you! :) hahahas. And that person is Audrey! HAHAHAS! Totally didn't know that we had so much in similar and totally didn't know that we had so much to talk about. I mean, we were OG mates, we see each other around in school. But everytime I see you, it'll always be the same few topics about dance! But NOW! I know that you are a fangirl and fangirl-ing about the same stuff as me! HEEHEE :) Can't wait to go flea with you on Sunday! Love you, mixed school girl who keeps insisting that girls' school girls corrupted you! HAHAHAHS :)

Lastly, this year, I fell out of love. It didn't hurt as much as expected. No, don't get me wrong. I don't mean that it didn't hurt. It sucked, it hurt really bad. But I thought it would have been much worse. But I guess, sometimes letting go will hurt less than letting the pain drag on yeah? We were both in love with each other. But I guess sometimes, when time passes by, the feeling changes. Not that there is no love, but the love is forced away by a lot of circumstances. Time, change in character and all. It was tough to let go. Memories still do haunt me, even up till this day. (I mean, comeon, it's less than a month. DUH I will still think!) Even up till today, I know that there will always be something tugging at the back of my heart, making me hurt when the memories resurface. Then again, these memories are good and bad. (: Keep the good and throw away the bad. Like I told you before, you will forever be on the list of people who knew me well! Pardon me for not being able to be friends with you for now, cos I know for sure, if I talked to you and all, I wouldn't be able to move on at all :) When we next meet, I hope that we'll be able to smile at each other without feeling so bad anymore. Stay happy and don't get too stressed out about life!

Wow, this year is an eventful year huh. I think so too. I don't know how was 2009 for you, but 2009 is definitely a year that I wanted it to be over badly. Hahahs. Can't wait for the arrival of 2010! New beginning new start!

Now that I am single, I am totally not in a rush to get into another relationship cos I am going to work my ass off at my job(s) so that I can earn enough money to go to Taiwan and Korea in 2010! Totally want to go back to Taiwan NOW NOW NOW. Okay maybe not now, but in summer time :)

Okay, I am going off to eat now! It'll be countdown with Kang Xi later HAHAHAS. Otaku to the max!

眼泪是因为记得，不哭是因为懂得，我们都会幸福的。

Memories of 2009, I'm going to keep yall in a box now. All the hurt and pain, I'm gonna put yall down now. (: New beginning, fresh start! Please let 2010 be an awesome smacking year :)

2009-12-30T19:44:00.001+08:00

你是我最超级的女孩
跟着我一起飞到未来

Kyuhyun's voice is da sex! :D

2009-12-30T19:30:00.002+08:00

I am a very lazy girl. It has been like what? A week since I came back from Taiwan? But then I am just too lazy to upload pictures onto Facebook and what more say blog about Taiwan trip. Meh, actually I would love to write everything down. Afterall, it's my first trip overseas with friends :) Mega awesome. And whatmore, whatever that happened there are quite memorable.

I shall not go into details but I shall write about what I liked most during the trip.

On the day when we went to 师大夜市, which was only 4 people cos ahbu and Kelly went back to hotel to rest, we met a cute and amazing couple there selling accessories. They were so sweet okay. Like everytime I ask for discount right, the guy will ask me to ask his girlfriend cos she makes the final decision! WAH :) CUTE! hahas.

The couple is really cute because the guy was cute, and the girl is pretty! Okay no no, because they are so sweet. Like the guy came to Singapore a few times so we were talking about Singapore and Taiwan and he was like asking me about my trip and all. And so I told him to bring his girlfriend to Singapore next time :) Then he said cannot. Cos he is in army now and his girlfriend got classes in the morning. I was like FWOAH! he is damn nice. Army so tiring and yet he will still come open stall with his girlfriend at night :) Mega awesome! Though I think he is too much of a flirt. But ohwells, I think it's good enough :)

Yep, that's one memorable incident in Taiwan.

Another memorable person in Taiwan would be this girl selling handmade accessories in 西门町 :) She is a bung i think? She is damn awesome! She has her own band! Thumbs up. I bought 2 guitar picks necklaces from her. heehee. And I still do contact her cos I went to her blog to comment. She is like freaking friendly and she is like freaking talented cos she hand painted all those necklaces. FWOAH and she can play the guitar. Wah what else can you do man? I am totally asking her to bring me around the next time I head to Taiwan, which is hopefully next year :)

I was telling Pinghui that I really love Taiwan and would want to go back there for a long stay. Okay la, the stuff there are cheap (SHOES BOOTS ACCESSORIES!!) drools- But the people there are mega awesome too. Or maybe the people that I met were really awesome. They totally made my trip even more awesome than it already was :)

OH OH OH! One more person (two actually) that made my trip lovely! The manicurists who did Sushuen's and my nails! They were so cute. Especially the one helping me! She is mega in love with Show Luo and when we told her that we bumped into him in the afternoon, she was like, ZOMG why yall never come earlier and tell me! HAHAHHAS not cute? :) And they were super patient with our nails and all. Though they didn't add me on Facebook as they were supposed to, it's okay! I would have liked more Taiwan friends though.

Okay okay if you got pass all those words congratulations! :) If you didn't, it's only a small part of my Taiwan trip that I thought was the most worth remembering. The people there are awesome. The culture there is awesome. I wanna go back there! :)

Heehee, what I have been crazy over these few days! Henry is da bombz cute! Donghae's cute moves and dance moves are HEEHEE! Kyuhyun's voice is FWOAH melts! Yaye happy happy. Filling up my days with things that will make me happy! :)

2009-12-27T15:53:00.001+08:00

Heehee, why they so cute :) Lovelove!

More more! 写上自己的名字！Heehee :) So cute!

2009-12-26T18:49:00.003+08:00

外面，下雨了。
有点冷。
我记得，你忘了。

人，很奇怪。
身边明明围绕着喜欢你的人，
可是，我们总是追求我们喜欢的人。
人，就是那么奇怪。

2009-12-22T21:23:00.001+08:00

Hey darlings out there! I am back in Singapore already! :) Anyone missed me? Heh. I am not going to blog today cos I am feeling freaking sick and all I want to do is nua nua nua. And needs attention. Cos mama always say that when I am sick, I act like a baby and all I want is attention on me! Heh. Okay. Off to rest now :)

2009-12-14T23:30:00.002+08:00

Am going to be away to Taiwan for retail therapy from 15-21 December :) Will be back as a happier person!

Anything, just text me at 90978093 kay! I will call you or text you back. No worries, using prepaid card so I think it's just local text charges! Love yall darlings :) Will be missing yall!

And pray that I don't fall sick or have overweight luggage kay!

Till then! :)

2009-12-13T01:10:00.002+08:00

有很多习惯，一夜之间没有办法改掉。
很不习惯不需要期待你的电话的感觉。
很不习惯在facebook的左手旁，已经没有你的名字。
很不习惯现在的我，和你一点关系也没有。
很不习惯这一切的结束。
很不习惯我的脖子少了项链。

可是，之所以会有这些习惯，还不都是时间累积下来的吗？
所以，我相信时间也会把我的这些习惯慢慢的摸去。
放手，有些时候也是对我们的一种解脱吧？
我们都变了。
我们都会快乐的。会的。

2009-12-12T17:10:00.000+08:00

天快亮了
能不能别离开呢
沉默像首悲伤的歌
捂上视线却模糊了

你要走了
也带走所有快乐
甜蜜的片段散落了
疲倦了心冷了我哭了

那流星闪过
我们许下一个愿望
要在一起绝不分离
你怎么放弃了

星空在闪烁
像你的眼泪
悄悄划过
当你放开了手
离开的时候
有没有一点舍不得我

泪光在闪烁
而我的眼泪忍住
不敢坠落
我还留在黑暗中守候
你却已经远远离开我

离开我了
梦醒了还剩什么
我要的幸福消失了
你的心曾经属于我的

那流星闪过
我们许下一个愿望
要在一起绝不分离
你怎么放弃了

星空在闪烁
像你的眼泪
悄悄划过
当你放开了手
离开的时候
有没有一点舍不得我

泪光在闪烁
而我的眼泪忍住
不敢坠落
我还留在黑暗中守候
你却已经远远离开我

有过的快乐
我都记得
回忆还旋转着
爱怎么停了
我们都累了

星空在闪烁
像你的眼泪
悄悄划过
当你放开了手
离开的时候
有没有一点舍不得我

泪光在闪烁
而我的眼泪忍住
不敢坠落
我还留在黑暗中守候
你却已经远远离开我




Mega heart this song.

2009-12-12T04:30:00.002+08:00

Oh, I forgot to mention.

Hoi Lin Wenyi! Actually, I wonder if you read my blog yknow. Tsktsk. But anyway, just wanna say thanks for expressing your thoughts honestly. And for nudging me when I am thinking again or stoning again :) And for surrounding me with awesome food so that I will always be sugar high. And for your tummy throughout the 6 years for me to lean on when I am feeling upset :) And for all the late night phone calls during exams and non-exams (practically all the time).

A true friend knows when you are upset, or when you are just tired. And there's totally no need to maintain all high in front of them. Though there may be quarrels and misunderstandings along the way, it will all be alright in the end. Because you know that ulimately, they will be the ones standing there right by you when anything happens :)

Oh, and I insist on some sweetness in my life.

阿香，你睡得好像孩子哦
从来没有从这个角度，看过这样的你。
这个角度的你，也好美。
你知道吗？
从来没有人，像你这样的懂我疼我恋我顾我黏我
不可思议的是，我竟然在你的身上，找到了我的安全感。
阿香，我觉得当下我拥有的，是你带给我前所未有的幸福。
好想freeze来凝注这个moment
凝注这个只有我们的Moment
从今时直到永永远远。

heh heh. (: Yes yes, it's by Xiu. Okay shall go sleep! J! Go sleep too :)

2009-12-12T04:02:00.003+08:00

=/ All my recent posts have been spazzing over Xiu and Xiang. Hee. Cannot luh they are just too sweet a couple already so totally need to share the joy with you all :) Hee. So I shall post some of my pictures to summarize what has been going on in my life other than my sluggish behaviour cooping at home fangirl-ing :) There are still people who have managed to drag me out of the house to get some sunlight so that I won't rot. Teehee. :)

To my lovely darlings for celebrating my birthday!

These cute darlings came at an unearthly hour of 9am to wake me up from my beauty sleep so as to surprise me. Heh heh. Apparently they collaborated with my cousin and my mommy so that they can come into the house when I am asleep. I think the original plan was for mommy to drag me out for breakfast? But then I think I was too lazy. Okay, not think. I was too lazy. Hee.

Then Magdalene opened my blanket cover and YANHUI started videoing the whole process of them waking me up! Zomg. All the whinings and all involved. Er, if you are interested, please approach Ms Goh Yanhui for the video. Heh heh.

It was out to Kbox (where Magdalene became damn yo yo yo and Wenyi was just damn calm). OH! Did I mention?

Me and Yanhui sings: 马德里不思议
Magdalene: How come I keep thinking yall are singing my name? 马德里(Magdalene)

WAHLAU! Not lame! =/ Okay but it made us all roll in laughter I swear. HAHAHS. Oh I didn't mention the movie Christmas Carol in 3D before that. Okay, it was a really boring show. =/ But I think the meaning behind it was deep luh. Just that I don't think you need such a long boring show to bring out the deep meaning behind it. But I think I was entertaining them with my stupid actions, playing with the 3D effects luh. Hee :)

Oh and many thanks to Pinghui and Mujia who came down after they were done with their stuff too. All the efforts put it. Mega thanks! :)

And 马德里 for coming down from her class chalet :) And Wenyi for taking time off before she board her cruise to spend the day with me. And of course, Yanhui for organizing it and making my birthday splendid. Hee.

Though I still did cry at some song during KBox and hence, my crying curse is still there, but I had a wonderous day out :) Thanks babes! Mega hearts.

NEXT: Shopping with my 2 poor babes!

Went out to shop with my 2 darlings! Finally saw the 2 of you after such a long time :) Wanted to crash SAJC post prom but in the end did not due to unforeseen circumstances. It's okay Tiff, I'm sure J will bring us go club next time round. HAHAHAS :) She is dancing queen ttm please. Hahhahahas. We just went around to walk eat talk. I think eating took up most of our time luh.

WE JUST CANNOT STOP EATING. Oh gosh :(

Totally just need to lose weight.

To my 2 darlings, it hurts me when yall are upset. And it annoys me even more because there is nothing I can do about it.

To J: I know you believe that love will change it all. And I know it's good to believe in that cos simply too little people have faith in love now. But sometimes when it really hurts a lot, let us know kay. Let us share your burden just like how we did last time. I know I may not be there all the time (and most of the time), but you know I am a text away. Remember how we talked about everything under the sun last time? I am still willing to be your listening ear yeah? Don't be afraid to text yeah?

To Manyu: Darling, stop thinking that you are screwing things up. I know we both tend to read too much into things, think too much and hence, cry too much. Babe, you just got to strengthen up yeah? I mean, nothing is going to change by crying. I need to say that to myself too. Thanks for always being there when I need someone. Thanks for all the "I'm here if you want to talk about it" moments. Well appreciated, really :) And also, thanks for feeling angst for me. You are mega love yeah? We'll get through! together!

And then it is job interview plus shopping time!

Went for job interview with SSS :) It was mega fun and we totally just got the job already. I am damn tempted to change to crew now cos I think crew sounds more fun. But oh wells, I will just try out retail I guess. I mean, that's what I want to do in the future. Not retail, but something along that line luh :) HEEHEE. Can't wait to start work or rather training on 25th Jan :) FALALAS.

Inez: You know what's the best perk? Discounted tickets to Universal Studios!!
Sushuen: ZOMG! I was thinking of the exact same thing! Great minds think alike!

WAHAHHAS We are damn cute :)

Ogayyy there is still today luh, or rather yesterday where I went out with Wenyi to watch 风云 II. OKAY KIDS DO NOT WATCH IT! IT IS SUPER NOT NICE! Yes, don't waste your money. Seriously :) Shall blog about Wenyi's date when I uploaded the pictures.

I think from now on it will be pack pack pack. OH I PACKED MY HOUSE OF MY STUDY STUFF! Yaye. claps- though my bags are still strewn everywhere, it's an improvement already. Can't wait for my getaway trip :) Heehee.

Okay, it is mega late now. Need to sleep already. Night night..

P/S: Sorry for the very LONGGGG summary =/

再快乐的日子，也只有我一个人庆祝。

2009-12-08T00:32:00.004+08:00

TELL ME! Why so cute the couple! WAHLAU! Both of them make me melt like siao can :) Both are damn sweet to each other. Kns. Is mega love okay!

Introducing to you: 孙尚香 and 脩!!

Well, this is reality version: 曾沛慈　and 脩

修：我是指，不管你是在江东，还是东汉，
我都止疼你一个。

香：哦。那，我也只让你一个人疼。

*urg! Melts-*
Heehee love it when she teases him like that!
Freeze this moment.
They just look damn good together!? And his guitar is mega awesome :)
Seriously, a guy's hug from behind is too hard to resist!

Sorry kids for the picture spam! I just had to do it! This is like what I have been goo goo gah gah -ing over for the past few days and it is also the explanation behind my slug behaviour. Heehee. I think only wenyi understands :)

Seriously, the show is mega lame and I am totally damn sian during other parts but then!!! when it comes to the two of them, it is MELTING TIME! Quoted from Wenyi, "You will melt into a puddle of water, and refreeze back again later." HEEHEE. :) 知我者莫若你！ They are seriously damn sweet in the show. Falalalas. And not to mention, they have been my happy pills these few days :) So glad I chose to watch this show. Cos they totally don't quarrel one? The only sad part is when he has to leave. Which is the part I posted earlier on :)

Okay okay those kids out there who are about to open their mouths and tell me that these are all fantasy and will never happen in reality, I know. Just let me indulge in my own fantasy world luh. At least I am happy swimming in my own puddle of water.

Wenyi said, idol dramas are double-edged swords. They work both ways. They make you really happy cos they show you the good side of love, but yet again, they make you sad because there is a forced comparison. Well, I agree with her, but I guess, it is just me to watch these and melt ba :) Can't really change it. Wenyi says I should date a romantic geek.

很多时候，当彼此间的幸福感觉变质了，那样的改变，可能是你我，都察觉不到的吧。
很有可能，彼此间，渐渐的，只剩下了习惯，而不是爱情。

Well, can't wait for my getaway trip to sort out my thinkings. Away from the bustling city of Singapore and heading over to the land of fangirl of Taiwan :) Wah, imagine how crazy I would go if I see either of the two of them there :) Ohwells. Let's leave it to fate.

Okay, back to watch drama and melt. The other things can wait.

2009-12-05T16:36:00.002+08:00

香: 备备, 你觉得我是那种很需要被保护的女生吗?
脩: 阿香, 我知道你人很聪明, 武功又好,
就算我和袁绍没有去救你, 你自己也可以想办法脱困.
但是, 我不会因为你的独立, 而忘记我要保护你的责任.
在我心里, 你就是那一个需要被疼爱, 要被捧在手心的阿香.

Wahlau, it is really just mega love yknow. I think it is like the dream of all girls to be treated like that. Many a times, when we say we are fine, when we say we can do it on our own, we can't. Sometimes, it's really not about putting up a strong front (though I have to admit that many a times it is about a strong front). Sometimes when we say we are fine, we still do crave for the comfort that you are able to provide. 不要因为我的独立，而忘记了保护我的责任。 I am just majorly in love with this line. Seriously. Maybe I should go date a scriptwriter. Heh.

Just a note to remind myself, and those reading my blog, the stuff that I post on my blog, are all from idol dramas. Which means, those guys uttering sweet nothings that I love, will never appear in real life. Heh. Sorry kids. Burst your bubbles. Anyway, the thing that I love is not the guy's appearance and all in the idol dramas. It is the way he treats the girl, the way he make her seem like she is his one and only, the way he vows to protect her no matter what, the way he loves her. (:

Okay, back to watching my show. Will be back with more~

2009-12-05T00:22:00.002+08:00

原本有很多话要说。
可是，我按下了“backspace”。
很羡慕会跳舞，会弹钢琴的人，或者任何乐器。
因为，他们能够通过音乐来表达自己的悲伤，自己的快乐。
既然我没有那些表达的方式，就把他们往肚子里吞咯！
幸福的定义有很多种。
或许，你的和我的，是不一样的吧。

2009-12-04T18:12:00.005+08:00

阿香。。阿香。。
我要告诉你！
我叫呼延觉罗修
我好爱你！我真的好爱你！
阿香，我不要放弃你
你是我最想守护的人！
我不要离开你！

备备，是不是你在叫我？
备备，为什么我觉得我的心好痛？
你到底怎么了！
而且，为什么我觉得你非常痛苦？
你在哪里！？

WAHLAU I watch this episode and the previous one is cry until like don't know like what. Is heart mega pain. Even if he knows the words will never reach her, he still tries to say it out! Wahlau, this kind is mega touching. And somemore the 2 of them look so damn good together! :'( Totally love their scenes the most! Shall go watch more more and update with more lines. (:

修：我是指，不管你是在江东，还是东汉，
我都止疼你一个。

香：哦。那，我也只让你一个人疼。

2009-11-27T17:03:00.002+08:00

热情结束以后冷静开始以后
时间开始怂恿劝深爱的人放弃
我不想倒数还能爱多久不爱我请离开我
勇敢祝福以前找到幸福以前
我会耐心等候并重新适应寂寞
开始倒数开始忘记
值得你的爱已确定不是我

Current favorite song.

2009-11-27T02:32:00.003+08:00

Feeling ohmega unwell now. It's like giddiness plus flu plus throbbing headache plus churning stomach. I think it's true that when people are too free, they fall sick. That's because when they were busy and stressed over deadline and exams, their bodies understand that it is a crucial period and hence, they cannot fall sick. Though my As haven't end, I think my body has already sunk into the relax mode. I need to stop sleeping so much so that maybe my headache will go away. Rawr. angry.

Anyway, Happy Birthday Tan Wen Qi :) You're missed. Didn't text you on the dot cos really wasn't feeling that well :) Love you luhhhh! And of course, missing you a lot too! No one to visit me when I am sick anymore. Catch up soon yeah? :) May God bless you and show you His way more and more! Don't give up when He's all silent yeah? Take care :)

Love is a complicated issue.

It has been weighing on me recently that, I may not be the right girl for you.

2009-11-24T18:14:00.002+08:00

FWOAH it is like finally going to be over soon!? Like nearly one month of torturous exams and not forgetting the one month before of torturous studying. All these is going to END END END! And I am praying everyday that I won't have to do this again! And I have been wishing with my every fallen eyelash the same wish. Haiyo! Daddy! Bless me like you did for O levels! :(

Month of December is coming. As usual, it's a month that I dread most because to me, it's a month of disappointments. And somehow the cold weather associated with December brings along a sad feeling. Never really liked the month of December. Every year, somehow, someone will disappoint me during that period of time. Mega yucks. But oh wells, we all got to learn the fact that "All men will fail you someday." (Not gender hor! Just technically, everyone)

Kids kids lelong lelong who wants to date me out on pathetic 2nd december :(

Y'know, I kind of dislike it that I have to make plans for myself on my birthday, if you know what I mean. Yawns- Nevermind. Shall stop thinking of unhappy stuffs and think of the mega happy things coming up in December! Taiwan I AM COMING ALREADY! WAIT FOR ME :) heehee.

Haiya, this is such a pointless post. Goodbye kids.

2009-10-31T11:41:00.001+08:00

It is really damn sad. As much as I tell myself to not think about it, it just haunts me yknow. I kinda know how J felt like, how zhen felt like last time. It's fucking scary. The way your hand shakes, the way your heart trembles at the thought of it. And there's no one who can solve it for you. Words from friends will just pass you by just like that. Not that you are not willing to listen, but you just can't stop thinking. My hands are trembling. I'm really scared.

I want to hold your hand

2009-10-26T11:39:00.002+08:00

Oh yeah, I´ll tell you something
I think you´ll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

Oh, please, say to me
You´ll let me be your man
and please, say to me
You´ll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you i feel happy, inside
It´s such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

Yeah you, got that something
I think you´ll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you I feel happy, inside
It´s such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

Yeah you, got that something
I think you´ll understand
When I feel that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand.

Am loving this song like crazy now :) It's sucha sweet song! Bubble bubble please don't burst.
Don't think anyone would really understand what I am ranting about. I just think it is damn sad when a girl starts to love a guy more, because that's when I think, a relationship is heading towards doom.

2009-10-24T02:39:00.001+08:00

Why do people fall in love, and then out of love, and then back in love and then ...? I mean, there seems to be no end to this cycle, just like how there is no beginning or an end to a circle. It is just a vicious cycle I would say? Of course, I am not forgetting all the ever-so-sweet and still-so-sweet couples out there who are going on strong. But I mean, looking at friends around me being so troubled by love, it's just so funny how we just go for the thing that will hurt us the most right? We're such weird creatures, seriously.

The above paragraph was just thought after studying with Weizhen Wins and while waiting for my CafeWorld food to be cooked.

Yawns- missing my darling friends after looking at pictures in my computer :) Love you kiddos! Meet up soon to study yo :)

Love you Love :)

2009-10-22T00:01:00.003+08:00

Remember what I said previously about how guys always tend to use "So what do you want" in a quarrel? This post shall be on What a Girl Wants. Most would be of course from my perspective which is inaccurate to use as an representation of the whole female population. But I am sure most of the points, there should be unanimous agreement.

A girl wants a guy to take note of what she picks up during her shopping and returns to the shop WITHOUT her and get it for her a surprise.

A girl wants a guy to not keep quiet in a quarrel. Most girls do not believe in the "cooling off" time that guys believe in.

A girl wants a guy to hold her hand tighter when he's with his friends. It adds a hell lot of security.

A girl wants a guy to make it blatantly obvious that she is on his mind all the time. Random "I miss you" and "I love you" text messages would do the trick.

A girl wants a guy to be not afraid of expressing his love for her in front of his friends.

A girl wants a guy to kiss her on the forehead.

A girl wants a guy to look into her eyes when he says "I love you".

A girl wants a guy to make her feel as though she is the topmost priority in his life. Even if she is not, the little things that you can do to make her feel that way will suffice. We're open to white lies sometimes yknow.

A girl wants a guy to help her showoff his love for her. No matter how much a relationship is between two people, girls just love to show off that their boyfriends love them a lot.

A girl do not need expensive gifts, but small little handmade cards, wishes on the dot, a little company on the special occasion are enough to brighten her day.

A girl wants a consistent boyfriend. Not one that is very sweet to her in the beginning and starts to throw her aside after a while.

A girl wants a sense of security that she is the bestest girl (yknow, number one girl) in your life. And there is totally no competition at all. Guys may feel no need to explain but girls are consistently insecure so they need you to consistently tell them that they are still your number one girl.

A girl wants you to hug her when she is crying.

A girl wants you to talk things through together with her.

A girl wants you to hold her hand and sit with her on a couch and not do anything further.

A girl wants you to stop asking her "so what do you want now" during a quarrel.

The list is not complete but I am getting a little tired from mock exam week. I know what a girl wants may not be exactly what a girl needs. Just like how though I want my Boyfriend to sweet-talk me that things will be fine, I do need his reminders that there is practically no time left.

Yknow, when girls feel insecure, guys tend to push the blame to the girls, saying that it's their inferiority complex and negative thoughts at work. I am not saying that girls are totally exempted from blame. I am just saying that, sometimes, girls are just really insecure. And it's IMPOSSIBLE for them to secure themselves by thinking positively. Seriously. Impossible. So guys who think that it is possible to do so, try coaxing your girlfriends instead.

All the above are from a girl's point of view. If there is any angsty guys out there who are damn annoyed that your view is not represented, er, there's nothing I can do too cos I ain't no guy :)

Okay, no time to fuss over this now. Just wanted to get this off my chest so that if my Boyfriend says "what to you want", I'll just direct him to this post :) Good idea? I think so too!

If you made it pass this post, congratulations! If you didn't, sigh, pity your girlfriend. Hurry go back and read. Boyfriend! Go read!

Okay much loves! I am going to cook in Cafeworld! :)

2009-10-16T23:49:00.006+08:00

Have you ever felt that your life is moving at such a fast pace that everything seems to be blurring out already? It's like, unintentional that you are moving at such high speed. But yet, the things that you miss and sacrifice when you move at that speed, you will never imagine. "I am busy. I am busy." How many of us have used that excuse to turn someone down for something? I think the one on the receiving end never feels good about it.

Sometimes, think of a better reason to tell others that you can't make it. Because a simple "I am busy" just makes the other party feels unimportant. It's true. And don't tell me to not feel insecure and think positive. Because I don't see a point in why I have to find excuses for your actions that are making me upset. It's like cooking up lies (I use lies because I won't exactly know what you're doing) for you to make myself feel better. Sounds like an irony? Pretty much.

It is very difficult to have an effective conversation with a person who is constantly using "I am busy" to shun away. I know that it may be a fact (in fact, most of the time, it is a fact) that you are busy. But I mean, I need some time set aside, (5minutes?) to make me feel important yknow.

I don't like the way how you ask me to not do certain things just because you don't like it. Sometimes, some stuffs, just need to be done to solve my own insecurities. I cannot let my sense of insecurity build up in me. I am not the kind of person who hides all unhappiness to a maximum before exploding. I will try to understand. But if I can't, I am not the type who tolerates you know? Because I believe that tolerating is the last resort? Since we are still at the initial stage, why go for tolerance when there could be more understanding?

Time is a major issue. And maybe cos I am fed up with having to study so far for freaking one month and sit for exams for another freaking one month. I know my temper has never been too well. But you can't say that I haven't been trying to change. And it's like when people are changing, why can't you expect less of them? Sigh. I don't know mans. Maybe I should speak for myself. I should expect less of you whilst you are trying to change.

Just, be a little more understanding towards my insecurities?

I swear to you, being insecure is part of being a girl.

P.s -> Those girls who claim that they are never insecure, you're still in the self-denial stage. Or you are just a guy in a girl's body.

By the way, check out MJC Farewell Assembly 2008 Maths Department on Youtube. Mad funny.

Back to more net surfing and sleep.

2009-10-11T22:07:00.002+08:00

You know what it feels like to feel alone in a crowd. Today's one of those days that I am feeling downright insecure, and annoyed, and negative, and "name all those negative feelings". It's bloody annoying that I am feeling this way because I jolly well know that I have NO TIME to be like mopping around and feeling sad for myself. Maybe that's where the annoyance come in. I feel like snapping at everyone and anyone. I just wished that my Boyfriend would be here to give me a pat and say "Everything's alright, will be fine. There's still me." You know, it's just little things, minute things that can drive all the negative feelings out of the window. Right words at the right time has a magical effect. But the sad thing is, usually, boys don't try hard enough to find the right words. Or maybe, they no longer try hard enough to find the right words. When it gets tough, they settle for the easiest statement, "What do you want?". Is it that hard for them to recognise that girls simply hate that statement? Because it's like, we're telling you exactly what and when to do, it's not something that you thought of it specially for me. You know how that feeling sucks? Like you're no longer making an effort to think of something to console me. You're just perpetually waiting for ME to tell you what to do. Nope, I haven't been talking to my Boyfriend to feel this way. It's just a long ago thing and it has always been bugging me when my friends keep repeating the exact same stories about their boyfriends. Boyfriend has been too busy for me. Feeling ever so alone right now. I know it's never right to depend solely for your boyfriend for comfort and solace, but sadly, that's what I am falling into. I really don't understand why guys can use nice tones towards their friends (both guys and girls), but when it comes to their girlfriends, their tones switch to that of annoyance. Are we not humans anymore just cos we're your girlfriends? Freak it la, I don't know. I hate it when people don't respond to me on Facebook, don't respond to me on email, don't respond to me when they see missed calls. I am damn tired. Can you take the initiative role for a change? Please.

2009-10-08T21:00:00.002+08:00

Yknow what I realised? I realised that I used to be able to blog out my emotions to vividly last time. Reading my past blog posts (like 2 3 years back), is like taking a trip down the memory lane once again. From there, I saw how friendships were forged, and at the same time, I saw how friendships were torn apart. Some, were intentional. Some, were just lost along the way.

Promises.

As good as they sound, they never do come true right?

What's left of all the promises now? It feels as though you have never set foot into my life before. It's as though we were never close before. I saw this tiny post in 2006, "Once entwined, now separated". I can't find a more apt quote to describe the bond that was between the two of us. I don't know if you still read this page, I don't know if you still remember this friend of yours. But all I remember was, the bond between us was special. But sadly, I no longer remember how it feels like anymore.

I no longer remember how it was to hop around singing stupid songs with you plus actions. I no longer remember how it feels like to search around the whole shopping mall to find you so that you won't be alone when you're sad. I no longer remember how it feels like for you to accompany me through late nights. I no longer remember how it feels like for you to hug me when I am crying so badly. And I think the saddest thing would be, I no longer remember the way to your house anymore.

Out of my lost friendships, I guess this is the one that hurts me the most.

The one that drifted away slowly yet painfully.

Everything that was once there are now gone yknow. The special bond, that was closer than friends, closer than lovers, so close that everyone thought there was something going on, is just gone like that with the wind.

But anyway, take care my used-to-be.

We'll move on, finding our present happiness :) Found mine already. And you'll find yours someday, whatmore, you've your other friends around.

It's time to mark an end to these memories. The random jolts of nostalgia these past few years keep making me backtrack. It's time to really leave it down and move forward. But, you'll forever be missed.

And nothing will change the fact that you were once the most important.

Thanks :)

2009-09-29T22:38:00.003+08:00

Since young, I have been reliant on friends for warmth, for company, for comfort because I am the only child in the family. Friends take up a major part of my life, major part of my emotions. I once told theTEN before, the reason why they are so precious to me is because they are like just like my sibilings. They are like my mirror, reflecting to me my weakness when I start to be cocky, reflecting to me my strengths when I am inferior.

There are many people who came and go in my life. Countless I would say. It is very sad because as I look back at all these friendships, I would still love for them to be in my life. Still be in every single frame of my life.

Though there are varying people in my life, there are also constants who held on and are still in my life :) Not intending to mention names this time round cos there are far too many things to tell each and every single one of them. There are some that I know what we are not really close, but I know I can always depend on you all when I fail. There are also some who have been active participants in my life, sharing my laughter and shedding my tears together with me. There are also some, who held my hand and walked me through everything, giving me hugs and nudging me along this bumpy road called life :)

I used to feel really tired for trying so hard. Trying so hard just to get old friends to go out together, trying so hard just to hold on to a person who's been drifting away. But now, I will do to the best of my ability to hold on to every single one of you. I know, "All man will fail someday". But as far as I know, friends will never disappoint as much as love does. (there was an exception but nevermind..)

To those who have slipped away from me, I am sorry for not holding on enough. Patricia, Wenn, Lydia .. I will never know if holing on back then will make things all better but I do regret that you girls are not in my life anymore. It would be all lies if I say I won't feel sad as I see all the letters and gifts that you gave.

I miss my friends. My friends who laugh at me. My friends who say I am a joke. My friends who bully me like there's no tomorrow. My friends who make me cry ever so easily.

Why do I love them so much then?

Because they dote on me like no other, they protect me like no other. They provide me a shelter, a shoulder when I need someone to be there to just cry to. They let me run up to them, hug them and break into a bawl. When they hear unjust stories that are going on in my life, they feel angst for me, they want to protect me. Thanks friends. Really. Without you girls, I wouldn't be the girl I am.

P.S: I bet my Boyfriend will feel jealous cos it's one whole post on friends yet again. HAHAS. (though I secretly think he doesn't read my blog anymore :( )

2009-09-27T20:30:00.003+08:00

Almost everyone around me is troubled with the problem called love. Whether is it neglect, whether is it two-timing, whether is it misunderstanding, whether is it not enough understanding, all these problems are just surfacing all around me. Sometimes I really thank God that my Boyfriend is overseas cos when I see my friends, they remind me of what happens when too much time is spent with your other half and what happens when too much is expected of your other half.

After seeing what my friends are going through now, it scares me you know. Like how some people can just change overnight, some things can just be destroyed in a split second after you have made a choice. It's as if they can harden their hearts and lock you out in a fraction of a second. The human brain, is so scary. The human heart, is so vulnerable. We cry, we kick up a big fuss, we torture ourselves, but all these, do you even see it? Do you even care? It's really scary.

To you out there, (you'll know if you're that person)
Darling, I know you are fighting really hard. I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your actions, I can see it in you. But it really hurts me, really hurts your friends when we see you torture yourself. I don't know. I know you feel bad for having to burden us to take care of you. But remember what you told her? "Sometimes I really think you treat me as Superwoman". You can be a superwoman in front of her. You can be understanding in front of her. You can be mature in front of her and help her come to a decision. But darling, in front of me, a friend for 6 years and counting, I don't need your facade. I would rather you break down and just cry it all out once and for all rather than keeping it in and letting your emotions go on a haywire rollercoaster. Just want you to know that all of us truly cares and we would love to share your pain if it will make you hurt less. I am sorry for being useless and not helping much but babe, if you need me, you know my number yeah?

Love, is really a very complex problem.

Why is everyone chasing it then?

It's like, after looking at all the painful examples that are around us, why do we still fight so hard just to become beaten and torn and tattered all over again? It's really damn sad how girls just hold on to a relationship just by that ONE strand of hope. Guys, yall will never understand how painful it is to hang on by false hopes. It's like, one moment, you are nice to her and she'll be damn happy and the next moment, you treat her like shit and all the happiness falls apart. Fuck. If you don't love her, don't torture her by telling her you don't understand, that you don't know. It's damn torturous you know.

And just to make things clear, I am not just talking about one case here. So please don't go thinking that you are the one that I am criticising unless, of course, you have a gulity conscience.

I am in no position to judge because I always believe that in a relationship, only the two parties involved know best what's going on. It's like when people tell me, "why he so bastard. how can he say such stuff", it's not like I will feel the exact way because I know of certain things that he did that makes me know that it's not intentional and all. I am just feeling really heart pain for suffering friends. you know the feeling? The feeling of seeing your friend cry, and you will just cry along? It's bloody painful. Especially if she's your close friend you know.

And boys, read this.
If you still love the girl, please do not be a fucking bastard and give all the bloody noble shit like "I am a jerk, the next guy will be better. You deserve better." I really think that guys just like to feel more superior. Like you just want the girl to feel damn shit and you'll fucking push all the blame onto the girl and make her feel like she did you wrong when actually in fact YOU were the one who inflicted the hurt, caused the pain and threw her into suffering. BOYS. You just want girls to beg for you, and tell you that they can't live without you right? Don't give us all that shit if you love us okay. Like, cherish us. Don't keep thinking that we will always be there and hence you can torture us as much as possible and we'll still hold on.

And girls
If you think it's really too painful, please let go. I know it's hard. Because I am not even sure if I can do it if all that shit happened to me. But, please don't heal your wounds in secret and keep putting strong front in front of the boys. Please, when the wounds are hurting too much to bear, don't cling on to that false hope.

To my darlings out there,
Please take care. I love you loads.

Btw, I didn't quarrel with Boyfriend. Just, thoughts.

2009-09-05T23:31:00.000+08:00

Bloody blog not allowing me to post up pictures. Would love to post a picture of the Old Cedar, post pictures of my favourite friends, post pictures of my favourite food.

Just to make myself a little happier.

But since they don't allow. Bye world. You won't get to know what I love the most.

2009-08-24T21:57:00.000+08:00

The worst form of pain comes by when the person who is hurting you thinks it's perfectly normal to say those words and thinks that there's nothing wrong in saying those words.

Apology doesn't come because you think that those words won't hurt you yourself. The fact that those words, armed with sharp blades, have already pierced through the heart of another, is something that ought to be dealt with isn't it? Everyone has different tolerance level towards pain, I mean, both physical and emotional pain. If I use my standard of endurance to judge everyone, I'd probably be apologizing to every single person.

The harm that is done is judged based on what the other person can endure. It shouldn't be based on your own standards.

Just because you think that there is nothing wrong in saying "I hope that my future wife will be XXXX" doesn't mean that I don't get hurt hearing that very same statement from your mouth. Do you know what does that statement above imply? It simply implies that I am not there yet, under the standards that you have set for your future wife. Therefore, I am not of enough calibre to be your future wife. Maybe, you should go ask your girl friends to evaluate how hurtful is that statement.

To whoever is out there reading this post, don't feel unjust for me or don't feel that I'm unreasonable. Whatever it is, keep your comments to yourself. I am just posting this to get it out of my system, and maybe hopefully the intended party will read it.

But more importantly I just want to say thank you to friends who care. A particular one, who saw right through my facade at the bus stop. Once she boarded the bus, she messaged to ask if I was okay cos I simply just looked different even though I smiled and rolled my eyes at her boyfriend (which was usual). Thanks for being able to see through the strong front I was keeping up with in school. Your message nearly drove me to tears :) Thanks.

And also to her boyfriend, for claiming that he kena whack by the bus door purposely just to make me smile. (Though I think he was not so sensitive to realise that I was upset and I think it's just an excuse for his clumsiness) But all in all, thanks for at least trying to fabricate a story that made me smile :)

I am tired. I need to study.

"I don't have time to fight". Then do you think I have? But just cos I don't have time doesn't mean that I have to hide my emotions and be a study machine.

I feel like a cat, who's hiding in a corner licking her wounds.

Will recover soon enough. Till then.

2009-08-10T01:28:00.000+08:00

为你抄笔记为你织围巾你夸我细心
靠窗的位置奶茶要少冰我帮你留意
专属的雨衣晚安的简讯是你的贴心
一直以为永恒的爱就是你

怎麼最近你对我很安静却对她细心
不再有卡片没离线讯息冷漠得彻底
有人说长大爱就会变形只剩下回忆
直到那天你的缺席才相信

原来你的心有空隙
她才能轻易地占据
我没本领我不争气假装不在意
原来我的心有空隙
还留著有你的记忆 Woo``
眼泪是我爱情的纪念品

I like the way this song plays out.

2009-08-07T00:53:00.003+08:00

我，恋上了幸福的感觉。
恋上了一个人也可以很幸福的感觉。
我喜欢幸福的感觉，喜欢那一种暖暖的感觉在心里川动。
不一定要有他在身边，
一个人读者喜欢的爱情小说，
写着自己创作的爱情小说，
那股暖暖的幸福感觉，又浮现了。

最近的日子，好忙。应该说，这两年来，好忙。
好久没有静下心来，去向一个故事的构造，人物心情的起伏。
也好久没有好好的读一篇值得欣赏的网路小说。
只能说，真的很可惜。
可是，现在，我又找回了写小说，读小说的乐趣。
幸福，不一定要使别人给于你的。
独立吧。在自己的生活中找寻一丝丝的幸福。

（：

P/s: Nope, no breakups, no quarrels, just random thoughts :)

2009-08-01T23:27:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I truly wonder if you miss me as much as I miss you.

你在前面跑，我在后面追得好辛苦，好累
能不能给我继续追下去的力量
能不能为我而放慢脚步，放慢时间，腾出一点只属于我们的时间

体谅和谅解，真的很需要力量
我的存有的力量，已经在渐渐消失中了

累了，倦了，需要休息了

2009-08-01T00:56:00.003+08:00

I shall post my homework list above the shopping list in an attempt to set my priorities straight now :)

Nuclear 1 Tutorial
Complex Numbers 3 Tutorial
Micro Essay outline 1
Micro Essay outline 2
Micro Mindmap 1
Micro Mindmap 2
Study for Review test on Monday - TM, Electrochem, Proteins

Okay, looking at the list of homework and that I need to fit in time to start studying for prelims which is in freaking 32 days time, I will stop shopping. SERIOUSLY. Inezlau, you need to study. No more disappointment anymore. It will be an open declaration of mugging period :)

So friends, date me out to study!

2009-08-01T00:47:00.002+08:00

Yes people, this is the situation that I am faced with now :( There are so many things that I want to get, but there's a bursting wardrobe in my house and a dying bank account. Zomg. I need to learn self-control seriously. Let me list down what I am intending on getting okay. Need to check things out at the flea (if there're any avail, if not then buy online)

Zipper Bandage Skirt ($20)
Plain purple Bandage skirt ($13)
Bodycon dress ($15)
Blazer ($25) *
Bandage flats ($13)

Zomg, look at the never-ending list of my desires. Swear it's growing longer by the minute as people starts to email me back about my enquires. Sigh. Anyway, all the prices in ( ) are the online prices. So if I can find cheaper alternatives at the flea, I won't get them online. The Blazer is an unconfirmed item. Most probably not getting it lah, since I wont use it right? Hmmm perhaps.

Omg. Self-control inez.

Actually, I should let loose since this weekend will be the last time that I am shopping. Gonna block off all sgfleas yadayada from next week onwards and start my full-fledged mugging lifestyle! Proud of me? I am pretty proud of myself.

Let's just hope I keep to my promise.

Babes out there, please tell me to stop shopping if you ever encounter me asking you about if this item is nice kay. Scream into my face when necessary. I NEED IT.

Sigh.. Looking forward to the flea tomorrow with Sushuen and Weizhen might be joining us later. (: So happy! Love my PW group mates very much! Many loves darlings.

Okay, going to have a date with Harry Potter now.

I miss my Boyfriend :(

2009-07-26T00:18:00.004+08:00

Well, hello, Blogger is back to normal I presume? Just as I was considering to switch over to Lj instead. I am so bloody tired. One whole day at the flea was tiring. Yawns- Everything I bought today was linked with lace. Sigh. Hope I don't regret it man.

I seriously can't wait for A levels to be over and I will be off to all my shopping trips and all. And also, more time for Boyfriend though I see it as a bad thing cos I will keep wanting him to accompany me since I am like bloody free. Sigh. I think I am a really bad girlfriend. Gotta change gotta change.

Anyway, this picture was, I think last week (: Went out with YanHui and Mujia to walk around and eat dinner. And SMU Flea :) Shioks.

Love how this dress makes me look angelic (okay self proclaim i know) But yes right!? :D

Okay today was just a walk here walk there flea day BUT BUT BUT I did my work okay. I finished my GP essay (with much help from Yanhui) and my Lasers assignment. Good job Inez :) How wondrous. Hee.

Delirious from doing work right after CTs with Yanhui's VELVET pen.

The flea was pretty alright. Many good deals that were up for grabs. There were many funny conversations that went around.

Shopowner from TROOOPS: Okay la, for you, $12
Me: So nice? (:
T: Always see you around one leh. Very free ah!
Me: Eh I buy from you still like that!
T: Okay la okay la. *I took up a lace leggings* okay this one, $10 for you :)

She damn cute please. Hilarious. By the way, everything was for like $15 at the stall. So I got 2 things at 22, 8 bucks off :) SEE! There's benefit in going to fleas frequently mans :) So please purchase from TROOOPS! They are pretty nice people :)

And then went to get my STAR ring. My third star ring. It's time to stop. But it's seriously damn freaking chio. Love it ttm. :)

Went to Liang Court with Yanhui and Mujia for lunner (lunch + dinner). Had Jap food which was a puny serving =/ But still couldn't finish it in the end. Weird. I think my stomach has secretly decreased in size without my permission. Went to do work at Macs, finished my Lasers Assignment.

AND THEN! I was too bored of doing work so went back to the flea. =/

I actually stayed there all the way till the end. And I got a lace dress, which Yanhui discouraged me from buying earlier on, cos the price was reduced by 4 bucks. Irresistable offer!!! Okay, it's just me la, my shopping genes :P

Supper with J and Short at some weird restaurant where I ordered 2 glasses of barley cos I was damn thirsty. It was home sweet home after that. Tiring ttm.

Outfit for the day:
I think I have some serious case of inferiority complex in my personality. Cannot fail to leave the house thinking I look damn ugly in my outfit. Sigh. Why why why. Wished I was like everyone else who looked amazingly good in every outfit they don on man. Thought I look alright today but thought otherwise after I looked at the mirror at Liang court. Erg. Wished I was prettier? Maybe. :(

2009-07-21T23:27:00.002+08:00

I am so annoyed. There's some major problem with this blogger now and I cannot blog properly.

Can't upload pictures, can't type out normally. So I guess, this will be vacant for a while again =/ I am bloody bored now. Oh, and did I tell you?

Liverpool is coming to VJ (:

Not a Liverpool fan, but just thought that it's pretty cool to have a well-known soccer team come to your school. HAHAHAS. :D

2009-07-12T01:00:00.002+08:00

Happy Fifteen Baby (:
Since this is his favourite picture of me, so I shall post it up (:

As I have mentioned many times, and I am sure some have been sick of reading it so many times, I am glad that Boyfriend is my boyfriend. Even though the past month has been a trying period for the two of us, we still managed to get through another month!

I guess, the most serious problem long-distance relationship face would be the lack of time for each other.

And I guess, my character is the kind that needs both quantity time and quality time. And it's usually the spark that caused the quarrel. Thanks for making time for me, so that I won't be feeling upset. Waking up early in the morning just to talk to me though you slept really late last night. Thanks (:

Although the 2 of us are not perfect, with you being easily irritated when you're busy, and me having low self-esteem about myself which fuels your irritation, I guess, it's our imperfections that make this relationship the perfect one. And I honestly want things to turn out in the good way at the end of the day. With many more months ahead, let's just hope the two of us will change for the better and eventually become what we are looking for in a life partner (:

Falala, lastly, Happy Fifteen to you baby (:

I am off to sleep already. And, mahjong was good :D

2009-07-03T00:25:00.002+08:00

Listening to 棒棒堂's album now (: Used to be afraid to say that I actually do watch their show faithfully and cry when I see them graduate and ya da ya da. But then now, I am actually proud to say that I am their fan? Hmmm. not really fan. I guess I just do admire them for all the effort put in.

All the people criticizing them, I am too tired to defend them. Last time I used to be crazy on the forum and jumping to their defence once there's a criticism about them. Not that I am saying all the other people who are still active on forum are crazy. Now, I am just happy for them. And to those who don't like them, maybe time will change your attitude about them. (:

Happy that they released their album though I only like their ballads. Their fast songs are still stuck in that bubblegum pop genre. But it's okay. They're trying.

Voices, not perfect.
Composing skills, not perfect.
Dancing, not perfect.
Looks, not perfect.
But I guess all that matters is the effort (:

So, go listen if you have the time. Give them a chance.

Alright, off to study for AP and GP. :( Sian..

TENTEN hurry meet up okay (: To those of the TEN who reads my blog, hello hello dinner on 18th? And those who can make it earlier, kbox/ice skate? Tag to reply or message yanhui! Cos I am too busy mugging (as if. slacking.)

Love yall! :D

2009-06-26T00:19:00.002+08:00

I totally just, found my perfect wedding dress and bridesmaid dress! Oh my god. They are just fantabulous and I will die to wear it on my wedding! (:

But! the bridesmaid dress is not for the bridesmaids on my wedding. I mean, I wanna wear that bridesmaid dress on someone else's wedding! :D So hello hello whoever is getting married in the TEN or tiff or whoever is willing to make me a bridesmaid, please pick such a dress for me to wear!

It is totally me me me! Even sushuen agrees (:

Now to bring you the show:

Got hooked to Season 5 of Project Runway. This is one of finale (:

Was so worried that I would not be able to find pictures online that I actually went ahead to printscreen and crop the picture :D Love the 2 dresses to the max. If I was rich, I swear I will employ Kenley to be my designer for my wedding. (:

Now for the professional pictures:

The awesome bridesmaid dress!

The freaking chio wedding dress (:

I am so in love with the 2 dresses okay (: They are like, freaking awesome and I am keeping myself awake just to see the wedding dress on the runway once more in the season finale :D Oh my. I am addicted to Project Runway. Their creativity is amazing (: Kudos to them and to all the budding designers out there, including Kenickie :D

Oh, forgot to update that, VJ is postponing CTs to one week later, 3 July.

Honestly, I don't know if it's a good thing or not. Cos I have been slacking off ever since I heard about the additional week so I guess it's not a good thing. And not forgetting the fact that I quarrelled with Boyfriend over it. So yeah. Sigh. Time to work!!!!

Alright, will post up pictures of other dresses that I love love love :D

Inez needs to go to sleep and dream of maths formula.

God Bless darlings who are facing CTs next week! :D

2009-06-21T16:57:00.002+08:00

I swear I am turning into one big fat nerd. Nerd because I am literally surrounded by books and notes (forced to pack my notes today). The big and fat cos I have been staying up to study which means excess consumption of potato chips. Honestly, can you imagine, if the multiplier table actually did apply to weight? Which means a slight increase in consumption, it will be like k times increase to your weight. Wtf. That would be disastrous.

I would so much rather all the scientists and economists in the world go relate all the equations to weight. I think I will be much more interested to talk about it and read about it.

Before you start saying that I am damn thin, I am not being weight-conscious here, if not, I won't be consuming all the potato chips already. And I think I am becoming happier while eating all the potato chips (:

I only have one week left. Shucks.

And point to note, quarreling with daddy a day before Father's Day is not such a wise option. I hate awkwardness and that I do not even look him in the eye now. All because of .. whatever. No wish to expose it. So, only Boyfriend knows. Good enough.

Alright, back to Electrochemistry.

Oh, I've found a liking for Twitter (:

2009-06-21T00:15:00.001+08:00

I am so damn tired.

Just give me a break.
All I wanna do is to hide in my own world, away from it all.
Hate quarrels, hate noises, hate people accusing me.
Hate it all.
Thankfully, you were there with me throughout.
That's the only good thing that's left.
Thanks.

2009-06-13T02:16:00.002+08:00

My house has been quite of a joke since the electricity kept tripping and there has been a record of 2 blackouts in 2 weeks. Which is quite frequent I suppose. Cos when I told Wenyi of the second blackout, she asked me to give her 4 digits so that she can go buy 4D.

Feeling extremely .. upset? Nah, that's not the right word. I don't know what's the right word so fill in the blanks for yourself. I am feeling extremely ____. yeah.

I don't like my plans to be disrupted last minute. I don't like my bubble of hope to suddenly disappear when I was so anxious about it. And most importantly, I don't like people shoo-ing me off when I really need them at that point of time.

At times like these, I wish everything could rewind to the times before there were any major changes in my life. One being Boyfriend's departure to US.

Rewind.

2009-06-10T21:51:00.002+08:00

I miss the days where I could watch my Taiwan dramas without needing to feel a tinge of guilt at all. I miss the days where I could party my holidays away. I miss the days where I could go out and shop as and when I like.

Sadly, those days are gone. :(

Who doesn't love for someone to hold;
who knows how to love you without being told
-Soulmate

Hooked to this song today while studying at BK cos the stupid renovation that's going on at my house is totally getting on my nerves. Woke me up at some unearthly hour of 9am (okay those who think that 9am is late please shut up) And it got my house all sandy and dirty. So irritating. Swear I am going to grow fat if I go to subway or BK everyday just to study :( all the burgers and cookies that I consume. Wth.

Okay, done ranting. Off to watch videos with guilt.

But I ain't going to do anything with the guilt!

2009-06-09T19:58:00.001+08:00

Swear my class girls are just one whole bunch of fun (:

I want nobody nobody but YOU! :D

They gave me that reaction when I was about to fall. MEAN OR MEAN :(
Don't feel like publishing my life to the public recently. So I guess, it's gonna be quiet here for a while.

Off to muggerdots.com

2009-06-02T00:12:00.002+08:00

I think I ought to thank my lucky stars that I got Boyfriend as my boyfriend, like seriously. Hmmmm, who would be crazy enough to stay up in the middle of the night so that he can make potato salad with me, at the same time on my side? Cos when it's 3pm on my side, it's 12am on his side. (:

I had to make potato salad for class' picnic tomorrow so Boyfriend spontaneously went to the market over at US to get ingredients to make the salad too (:

And also, who would be tolerant enough to stand my unreasonable whinings and spurs of sense of insecurity when he already doesn't have enough sleep in the middle of the night at 3am? (: Sometimes, it's these little things that make you feel loved.

And most importantly, who would be so lovely to ensure that you are feeling okay and no longer crying and all, and not leaving you to sob alone in the corner, before going off to study for his final exams? (:

Thank you Boyfriend.

Though I may not seem that appreciative all the time, and of course not mentioning all the spoiler moments (just because of the fact that I don't know how to respond to the random sweetness of yours), do know that you are very well appreciated by me (: All your random acts of sweetness and thoughtfulness are what I treasure the most (:

2009-05-31T22:42:00.003+08:00

The 2 kiddos that went with me for SKM finals (:
U is for URSA. U-R-S-A URSA.

This is a reminder sponsored by Muggerdots.com. Please be reminded that you have to start mugging from 01062009, 0000. Please do as told and stop procrastinating.

I swear this is the most interesting thing that I have ever typed in my whole entire life. (: I think I am like so tired till I created this lame shit up to make myself happier. HAHAs. Today was just a wake up late, stone in front of the television, then go out day.

Went down to support the VJ Knights in the evening (: Became their loyal supporter after Boyfriend joined. HA HA HAS! :D Great job guys! I am sure you all did yourself proud! And we are proud of you! Really really (:

I guess, the main highlight of the show was the guest performance by Bangkok University. They totally swept the crowd away man! Oh my god. It was a total eye opener can. The way they go up on stunts and come down is just so extraordinary and high level man. Can't wait for a Singapore team to be of the same standard (:

I am waiting for Boyfriend to come online to share the joy of watching BU with him! :D

Okay, off to watch videos and plan for studying :D

2009-05-29T23:18:00.000+08:00

sigh. i miss my boyfriend.

2009-05-22T23:48:00.002+08:00

Thank God it's Friday. Seriously.

I am like so tired now, with every single muscle within my body screaming out to me to get to bed and hurry take a break from it all. But I am just too stubborn to succumb to tiredness. Sigh. What a bull I am.

Life's too short for you to mope around feeling sad.

Decided to take a stand to ignore people who are just not worth my attention and all. Just so that I do not waste my energy getting angry, upset, pissed, irritated at them.

I'd very much rather transfer the energy to my loved ones.

Yanhui's pictures brought laughter to my tired night. Check it out on Facebook (I think it will be up soon) My vampire looking pictures.

2009-05-19T22:53:00.002+08:00

Friends, have the ability to make you smile ever so brilliantly.
We all look so contented and satisfied with the company (:
Looking at my Facebook pictures, I really need to become prettier damn it. Need to get rid of my dark eyebags, need to be less unglam, need to be more camera friendly (i suck in digital camera pictures with the exception of weisheng's). it totally sucks when you are like having a damn bad day and see ugly pictures of yourself ): life sucks. totally.

I am trying my best to like not sleep in the afternoon so that I can get my normal cycle back. Aye, it's tough but I'm trying. At least I only slept for 2 hours in the afternoon today as compared to my usual 4 hours nap.

US trip is coming, totally not prepared. Don't know what to wear there. Online spree-ing craze is back again. Worried that they might arrive when I am overseas. Sucks big time. Shit man. ): I am like damn grouchy and all now cos like I don't know. Just feel so unprepared and just feel like pulling out but the money will just all disappear.

Quoted from Poline, this other girl who's going along with me, "We only have 2 options - pray that something big happens within this 2 weeks, or pray that nothing happens while we're there". I would hate to be quarantined okay.

Okay contemplating whether to get my dresses and all. Choices. ):

I hate looking fugly.

2009-05-17T01:19:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I am really glad to have Boyfriend as my boyfriend.

Though he may not be the best around in others' eyes, though he may not be perpetually there for me due to the vast distance between us, though he may not necessarily be the most sensitive creature in the world, at the very least he isn't doing things that will hurt me real bad.

Thank God for him. (:

And I honestly hope, we will last.

2009-05-11T04:28:00.000+08:00

It sucks to have low self esteem and feel that you're less beautiful than others.

2009-05-09T00:15:00.002+08:00

I am so tired now but I am still going to blog.

We freaking won music fest - MV section! :D

Though the music fest totally just brightened up my night and made me much more happy, but then my day was totally effing screwed. Because of this fucking bastard who just wants things his way. Like what the hell. If you do not give me clear instructions on what to do and just depend on "decency" to go find you, I am sorry you found the wrong person.

You dare accuse me of being irresponsible and all, but what about you. Just look at you. You, being older and supposedly more mature than me, also forgot all about it and did NOT mention anything to me for the past month when you saw me along the corridors.

So isn't it like a DUH thing that I thought it didn't concern me?

Like don't use your fucking old age as something to use against me because I do not think that you have a higher EQ than me in any way. If you think that I will sway away from looking at your eyes, presumely cos I am like guilty or whatever, sorry, I will not. Cos I so do not think that it is my fault and I don't see why I should not be able to look you in the eye.

Don't think just because you are older means that you have the authority to not respect students. Like what the fuck? Go get a fucking life and stop being such an anal bastard la. Can't you tell that you are alone most of the time? And that you only have one pathetic "friend" who's willing to sit and eat with you. Can't you tell that that's a freaking sign that you are so not popular in school?

Stop thinking that you are damn funny when you are like just good at telling lame jokes. Okay wait, you are not even good at telling lame jokes. you are just like a fucking screwed up person.

Okay, I just maintained the fire in me so that I could blog about it when I reach home.

Now, I am just damn freaking tired and I just want to go rest my aching muscles and tired body. But I want to talk to Boyfriend for a while. I had a bad day, and Boyfriend's not understanding it. I am damn ... i dont know.

bye world.

2009-05-07T00:35:00.002+08:00

Freaking hell. I cannot decide whether I should go over to US not ): Stupid thing, they should just cancel it / make it compulsory for me to go so that I don't need to fret about making a choice. Sulks-

Daddy says 2/3 of US is down with Influenza A H1N1 (sound so pro) so I should not go.

The news just said that the situation is stabilizing and Singapore is going from orange to yellow in this week..

Hmmm.. choices.

2009-05-05T23:26:00.002+08:00

Credits to my uncle and aunt for appearing here (:

I think I love capturing the smiles on people's faces on my camera but I don't know why people just can't seem to capture the smile on my face in their camera. ): sulks- But it's okay! I just like to see people smile!

Even though sometimes effort goes unnoticed..

Looking at this picture that I took during a wedding dinner reminds me of the song that was played in Money No Enough II. People who know Hokkien should go listen to the song 家后 by 江惠. It is super touching and it makes me cry ): It totally just brings out the faithfulness of the wife please.

Oh, and I was thinking about my past birthdays [due to the recent 18th birthday of Tiffany Wong] and I was thinking about how my 18th would be. Somehow, maybe it will be as screwed as the rest of my birthdays.

It sucks to have birthdays in the holidays.

Surprises are never there, other than the very memorable one of having someone pop up at my doorstep on 12 midnight itself. C:

Okay, enough said. No wish to get expectations high again.

Go listen to the song NOWWW :D

2009-05-03T00:00:00.002+08:00

Despite an angsty post below, here's a dedicated post to.... TIFFANY WONG!

HAPPY EXCITING EIGHTEEN MANYU! :D

This post is going to be filled with words and no pictures, no because I have no sincerity but simply because the laptop that has all my pictures has already crashed, sadly. So please don't be angry okay my love :D

Five years have passed us.

In the past five years, I have many friends that come and go. I am sure the same applies to you. But one thing that really remained constant in my life was you. (: No matter how busy we are with our work, or how irritated we are with band, we will always make time and effort to see the smile on each other's faces. (:

It has always been you who was with me when people pangseh me for birthdays, when people upset me with their behaviour and when people do not cherish me enough. You always stepped forward to show me that you still care. There's still you in my life.

Thanks for showing that you care.

I think I have mentioned like seriously a lot of times in my blog that, it is not easy to be my friend. The amount of tolerance that you need is crazy. But just as we were discussing the other time, only true friends will tolerate every single irritating part of you and make sure they point it out so that you will change (:

Thank you for being so tolerating.

During the Cedar days, once I start crying, everyone would be too scared to approach me cos of my dao face I guess. But never once did you shun away from me when i needed a shoulder to lean on, when I needed someone to hear me out or when I just simply need someone to be there beside me, making sure that I am fine. No one will be 100% there for another all the time. But all I can say is, when I am upset, you are definitely one that I will think of for support.

Thanks for just being there.

Sometimes when things get a little busy in JC life, and we don't get to meet so often, don't think that you are forgotten. Because never will I have a friend like you (: Our strange friendship started from Sec1 when I was your godma and it proceeded on to talkable friends then to band mates and to good friends.

Thank God for you.

On this very special day that God created you, I would just like to tell you that, I will be here for you just as how you had been there for me all these while throughout the five years (: Just as you said, you are just a message away (: So when you are feeling a little emo elmo, just remember, I am also just a message away (:

Lastly, just wanna tell you that I LOVE YOU MANY MANY MUCH MUCH and thanks for being your irritating and whiney and pouty and fierce and noisy and high BUT NICE self (:

Happy Birthday dear (:

2009-05-02T20:45:00.003+08:00

Warning: This is going to be a very wordy and boring and ranty post.

Feeling damn irritated these few days due to my damn irritating cramps that come along everytime I have my period. I swear I wanted to take out my womb everytime my period comes along. So damn pain please. ):

Okay, shall insert in a happy situation first. Met up with Tiffany to study on Labour Day and met J and xyz cos of coincidence. It wasn't a fruitful studying trip for SATs. but nonetheless, I sitll enjoyed myself bitching to Tiffy (: Love you babe! :D

Okay and I have been unable to upload our zilian pictures for that day because... MY FREAKING LAPTOP CRASHED ON ME WHEN IT IS LIKE LESS THAN A YEAR OLD. OMGOMGOMG. and the person said that is highly likely that my hard disk has a problem. OMG. what the hell. I haven back up a lot of my photos okay. I totally want all my camwhore photos and my boyfriend doesn't seem to get this point and doesn't understand why am i so upset over a laptop ): sulks-

I am going to bring my laptop down to Toshiba and hopefully I am able to back up some of my pictures Please Please Please. Omg. Help me ):

SATs today was .. alright I guess? But my standard of english is not high enough to be absolutely sure that I got all my answers correct and I tell you, I totally embarrassed myself by having some wrong concept of the marking system. Ask me and I will tell you ):

Time to insert another happy thing. Don't make my life seem so sad. I had lunch with Daming and tansusu (: at Jack's Place. Although the food wasn't good and I was cramping like mad half the time, the company was awesome. I am absolutely sure they feel the same too BECAUSE .. daming was laughing at how similar me and tansusu are all the time.! crazy!

Had fun talking to Daming when she sent me to the MRT station (: I swear it is my friends who pamper me like shits lo! just whine a bit and she walked me all the way to the MRT (: YAYE! happy (: [Boyfriend, I know you pamper me too! Don't jealous kay!]

To end my past few days, it was a moody and moodswingy week with random bits of happiness here and there (:

I NEED TO GET MY LAPPY FIXED ):

2009-04-25T22:29:00.002+08:00

Today was a really tiring day! I woke up at like 9am to study! Oh my god ): This is like totally rare but it's okay I'm loving the sleep early wake up early syndrome! I shall try to keep this up though I think that I will need to set aside a lot of time to study for econs and physics test ): sobsob-

But after a while of copying notes, I went down to Clarke Quay to meet Yanhui and Jeralyn! :D Love those 2 babes mans!

Thank you Yhui for the rose! Made me really happy :D
Look! Even J is jealous of my rose :D
Finally a solo shot of me and the rose! J keeps crashing my pictures.

Even though I was talking about having the "I have no best friend" feeling, I am glad that I have many good friends who are willing to go the extra mile just to cheer me up. It has been long since my girlfriend bought flowers for me. It has always been me buying for them.

It feels good to be appreciated. (:

Sorry Yhui that I didn't take a picture with you on my phone!! But there are pictures in your phone right! I will kope from your blog or from Facebook! Love love :D You know I love you very much girl!

J is a pretty girl! Everyone loves her!
We couldn't find any full length mirrors to take our outfit. We can only settle for this.
Sunshine makes Inez Lau happy.

Many pictures were taken with J but shall not flood my blog with our zipais. But more can be found on Facebook. I spent 40bucks at the flea and I think the things that I bought were really worth it. I am glad I managed to curb my spendings and not spent all 70 that I brought there (: Happy girl I am. I am so tired now. Shall go read econs notes and sleep early.

I was happy a moment ago, really was. But now, mood swang to the rock bottom. ):

Will there be less "talk to you tomorrow"?

2009-04-23T22:27:00.002+08:00

Need a picture that will make my emotions more ... calm I guess? Today was a really sucky day for me as there were many who chose to step on my nerves whether knowingly or unknowingly. So this is going to be a ranty post. Please choose not to read this if you are extremely uncomfortable with my bitchy self. I am SERIOUS.

Well, let's just name the person A. I was just trying to be helpful to help A and Co and all I got was the "I honestly don't think you are good enough to say anything" face in return. Well, to be honest, I know I am not good enough and maybe I don't want to be good enough. And whether I am good enough or not, that is another topic. The main point is, I don't see why you should be so erg! bitchy towards someone who's trying to help!

Okay then it comes to B. I think you should have known me quite well to understand my character right? You ought to know that friends are the most important to me and you do know that I cannot stand solitude due to me being an only child since forever. I am really disappointed in our friendship. You make me feel as if I am just someone to be made use of and you can dispose of me when you do not need me. The feeling sucks.

And C. I can't decipher if you are a nice person. Maybe you are too nice a person that you totally get on my nerves. And not to mention that you are always so nice to whoever and when it comes to me, you are like fucking irritating. And when I use the f word, you ought to know I am serious about how irritated you make me feel. I swear I wanted to make minced meat out of you. Erg.

I don't know exactly who reads my blog and who doesn't. So don't be so critical about yourself that you think that you are all 3 people that I mentioned. But maybe, they may be even too dense to catch it.

The things that are written below are emo. Don't bother reading it if you are going to make sacarstic comments about it because this is my blog. Fuck off if you are not happy.

Friends, like I have said many times, are the most important people in my life. Maybe you will be all politically correct and comment that, oh you are so unfilial to not treat your parents as the most important. That is because you have not been through what I had been through last time. Those with sibilings, yall had the company of other kids in your childhood. Though they get you into trouble, they have still been a great company right? And for me? All I had was the four walls. No matter how happy I made my childhood to seem like, with all my Primary school classmates staying in the same block as me and all, it still doesn't cover the fact that I had been alone most of the time in my childhood days. And it was then, that I realise that friends are really important. Maybe that was when I started to become really .. afraid of loneliness? I am not shy to admit that I do need someone to acknowledge my presence. I know Boyfriend's there, God's there, but I need someone close. No matter was it from last time, so what if I have theTen? They always seem to have someone else whom they are closer to? So what if I have ZuiAi, she'll have her unsound whom she's closer with. It's not about being possessive. It's just that, when I sit back and think, it occured to me that I may just be someone that people will look for when they need someone to talk to and then throw me away when they no longer need me. This feeling truly sucks and I want to run and hide from it. Not feeling too good. The choked feeling's there. Save me someone. Many told me, you're a really great person to talk to, I can tell you everything ever so easily. And so? I am just a .. rubbish bin to throw away all your unwanted emotions and then you walk away. [Chrys, if you are reading this, I'm not talking about you] I miss having a bestfriend. I really do. But sadly, best friends do not exist in the world. Every friend will have other friends. I am feeling really sick and tired of putting up a high front in front of everyone. I miss having that someone who's able to look through my facade and tell me to stop all my false pretense and let me fall into her arms crying. I miss that kind of friend.

Feeling really tired after waterfall now. Need a break.

2009-04-22T00:30:00.002+08:00

Today's Ben&Jerry's Free Cone Day! Jy, Jomel, Ahmah and me ponned econs lecture just to go for the free icecream. Cheapskate? You should try queueing next time. Absolute fun and laughter please (: Love it!

Look at the queue. This is like prolly tip of the iceberg? HAH.
Do you see the hope in our eyes! :D
Satisfaction after the icecream! Love it mans! Choc Fudge Brownie. Yummm
We are all psuedo-thin people! WOOHO

After B&J with them, Ahmah and I went home while Jy and Jomel went to study outside. I went home to get money before I went to the clinic to see the doctor. My eyes are infected and I freaking cannot wear contacts for like 5 days ): Sad life I lead. But if I am going out, I think I will just wear. Prays for it to get well-

And this is the scene that I saw outside my house!

Freaking scary right! What the hell! When I got out of my lift, I got a shock of my life lo! I thought what happened. Like something bombed my house or what! But it's cos they are upgrading the lift so I guess they are upgrading the floor too! To a higher class one?

But I swear it's like super... hard to walk and you might get pricked by the little rocks. And all the hacking of the floor has made my house super dusty and gross ): Can't wait for all the construction to come to an end. I need my quality afternoon nap know.

Okay I need to go copy notes and hurry retire to bed!

Inezlau needs to study like seriously! ):

2009-04-20T19:13:00.002+08:00

Looking at the sky and the scenery around me never fail to spark my train of thoughts and get me feeling emotional and all.

Well, at least for today, something did strike me during my bus ride home.

Sometimes, I can't help but think, why be so nice to friends around you? I mean, all the tiny little efforts that I put into my daily life just to make them feel better is not a necessity in life. And many times, they often went unappreciated.

Not that I am saying I am super sweet to my friends and I want something back, but sometimes when you think back, what is the purpose?

I honestly don't know.

But many thanks to friends who do show their appreciation towards my little nice (maybe not so nice to you) acts. Very well appreciated by me. Love you guys.

Okay, I guess it's just the construction work up there that's making me think too much. I need rest. Till then.

2009-04-19T01:44:00.002+08:00

Oh my god I swear I am like so tired now but I have no wish of sleep and I do not know the reason behind it. Nevermind. Since I cannot go to bed, let's start my endless rumble about what has been going on today (:

The day kicked off really really really WELL (: Because the spree person extended the maximum orders and my orders were taken into account. My Gosh I was like so damn happy and I was sure that today was going to be a really good day because of that.

Well, truth to be told, I guess it was the mentality that I started out with that made me go for grading with a happy mind and seeing those little kids made me happier.

though they were so noisy that I felt like killing them

Grading was alright (: Went to collect my biometric passport after that which totally was a long and torturous wait. But worth it (: Went home straight to fall into deep slumber after that.

If you are damn bored by the words, hold on! The pictures are coming! soon soon (:

Anyway, did I mention that there's construction going on above and at my house level. WHAT THE POK i tell you! ): made me damn grouchy cos I kept getting woken up by the drilling and knocking noise. ERG.

Okay okay shall move on to the highlight: STEAMBOAT WITH CLASSMATES! :D

Doesn't it look delicious? (: Woohoo!

Even though my class cannot be considered to be the most fun class around, (I mean look at s64 and all) but the girls are definitely a fun bunch to be together with. All our late night mahjong sessions, all our shopping trips, movie trips and eating trips are ever so memorable! Love them to the max okay! (:

Jomel Ho was sitting beside me hence, camwhore! :D
I realized it was damn difficult to go to toilet with my romper!!! =/
After eating like super a lot at the steamboat, namely fish (JY loves adding them), pork (my favorite of the day I don't know why), beef (the love of Malia and Cheryl) and cockles (love of ahbu) Oh and also all the wanton and some weird things, we went to Bugis Street to shop.

It seems almost impossible for me to leave bugis street without anything ):

Money fly money fly! Please let money drop from the sky!

Everyone was like so damn tired after all the eating and a whole day of training and practice. So everyone was damn nua and had to leave early.

Presenting to you:

The sole survivors of the day!!

We managed to drag our not so tired bodies to walk a bit more in bugis just to make me see how fussy ahmah is and also to buy bubble tea (: Talking about her band prac is fun stuff and also thanks for walking me to the mrt my dear!

Just look at the things I do just for friends!
-Sushuen!

This is a routine shot that I think Boyfriend is sick of!

Romper looks huge on me and hence, I've decided to put it up on sale at sgflea! :D Try to see if you can spot me selling it (: Heehee. Tired out now.

Feel like watching some show but got tons of work to be done tomorrow.

Inezlau, it's time to wake up and stop ponning school like free!

2009-04-16T01:30:00.000+08:00

Finally received Boyfriend's gift for me! Love it :D

2009-04-11T20:19:00.000+08:00

如果能够拥有生生世世的寿命，但是却没了爱情，
这笔买卖，成交吗？

2009-04-10T01:12:00.001+08:00

I was mopping around recently about how I totally don't feel happy and all. Maybe cos Boyfriend's not by my side or maybe it is just PMS. But whichever the case is, I don't feel unhappy anymore. I feel, not exactly happy, but at least better C:

Reading some people's blogs make me wonder if Boyfriend going overseas is the right choice. I mean like, because there is less time spent, I think the number of quarrels occurring between the two of us is lessened by a lot. Although sometimes it gets relatively irritating when he just wants to fight with me when time to talk is already very short, the chances of those occurrences is really very very low.

So maybe I should thank God for having Boyfriend overseas (:

But in any case, Boyfriend, you are very much loved by me! And I am not afraid to say it out! Though you always accuse me of not willing to show my love for you :D In any case, just know that I do appreciate all the little things that you do for me.

As little as:
Tolerating my temper when it comes to IT stuff
Waking up early in the morning just to call me
Saying sweet nothings despite knowing that I will be a spoilsport
Making sure that I feel better (if I am sad) before hanging up
Compliments me at every chance that you have.

It's really such simple things that make me melt and fall in love with you all over again (: I wish for us to not quarrel anymore, [no, we did not quarrel recently] but that wish is impossible cos no two persons are made perfect for each other.

We just have to give and take (: Thats what's it's all about right?

I love you! :D

2009-04-08T23:43:00.002+08:00

对曾经年少的他们而言，“爱”这个字从来没有出现在彼此的世界，一切的情感都用“喜欢”来概述。然而经过三年的等待，三年的相思之苦，才走回彼此的身边，他们都深深地感受到，原来“喜欢”这个单词早就远远无法代表他们心里的那份悸动。

屏出一切的[失去]，是因为与你有关的一切，我只接受[拥有]。

Writing chinese fanfics has always been my hobby. All thanks to the tons of tutorials and exams to prepare for, my hobby is slowly disappearing. Like my previous post, I still feel like sinking into the world of fiction and never get out. The feeling is not disappearing and I wonder why.

At times like these, I thank God for my wonderful and splendid friends around who are always there to show some comfort and concern. Thanks friends (: Especially Malia who texted me specially to ask how I was (: Friends like these make me feel really blessed. Especially during this period of time when he's not around.

I am sorry for being useless.

2009-04-07T22:57:00.005+08:00

Love the way I look here (: Sorry zilian once more!
I have classmates that are so funky and cute! Lurbe yall lahzzxzx.
My favorite physics friend who always doesn't do tutorials BUT! she is a changed person now. Let's give her a round of applause to encourage her change (:
Sometimes, it's good to let loose (:

Main reason I went to school today? Photoshoot. If there wasn't the photoshoot, I think there's a very high chance that I would choose to skip school today. But there's always Chemistry practical for me to worry about. Aye. I am feeling all rubbishy today and I can't put an adjective to describe it.

I feel like immersing myself in the world of my chinese stories once again. Somehow, every single time I read the Chinese stories that I have written, I can't believe that it came out from my brain. Just seems so impossible.

Well, but I love writing emotions in Chinese.

Chinese is just a language that's so apt in describing emotions (:

Tomorrow there's nothing much going on, and going by my own calender, I am supposed to skip school tomorrow to rest at home. However, there's this briefing in the morning that I cannot skip. So sadly, you'll see me in school tomorrow ): And there's release of PW results on Thursday. Oh God, just show me some grace ):

Sometimes, I just don't feel like trying so hard anymore. Like trying hard to well for exams, trying hard to get a scholarship, trying hard to get a good SAT score. Sometimes I just feel like doing what I did in the picture above, just let loose and not bother. But the expectations of people, and the expectations of myself (which is like crazily high) is what that's forcing me to move on all these while. If only I could hide in the world of fictional stories and Boyfriend and not having to worry about studies anymore. That would be the world that I would want to live in forever. Okay, friends do matter too. But sometimes, social relationships tend to be a form on unknown stress too. The reputation and image that your friends have of you that you have to live up too. Tiring. Someone told me today, I am always so high in school. Well, once again, a percieved image of me. Maybe cos I was perceived this way so my body is organized to be high the moment I step into school. I am just feeling rubbishy and I need to let it out. If any of you out there read this, just keep the comments to yourself. I am fine, just needed to let loose once in a while (: Or rather, I will be fine.

This is such a pointless post!

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO FRIDAY (: Kbox and Shopping! :D
Major Hearts!

2009-04-05T23:57:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I just wish for you to be by my side all the time.

2009-04-04T01:03:00.002+08:00

I am feeling so freaking tired but I've decided to blog anyway cos I guess I still need to wait for Boyfriend for a pretty long time. I swear my bones are aching to the max and they are shouting to my bed. But I will hang in there.

Today the main highlight of the day only started at the night (:

It was dinner at Azabu Sabo with lovelies to pre celebrate Yanhui's birthday cos Lin Xin cannot make it on Sunday due to competition.

Pictures below [too lazy to arrange properly!]

Lin Xin! Who claims that I keep ignoring her in school!
To prevent her from feeling that way, I took many pictures with her (:Here comes the Birthday Girl Goh Yanhui! :D
Hey lovely! I am glad I got to pre celebrate your birthday this year, even though I might be meeting you on Sunday again but that's still an unknown! In any case, I am really glad to have known you for like 5 years going 6 (:

You've always been the one to lend me a listening ear when I needed someone to rant to in the middle of the night. I will never forget all our late night conversations that never seem to have any awkward silence in between :D Thanks for always being that special friend whom I will always have endless topics to talk about in my life!

And also, thank you for all the hugs that you provided me with when I cried tears of joy, sadness and disappointment! Thanks babe!

Wishing you an early EXCITING eighteen ahead :D

Okay, this is very anti-climax, but before Lin Xin came from her training, we were at top shop trying on clothes. Or rather, specifically, it was me who was trying on clothes. Yanhui was just busy snapping pictures of me (: Love to go out with a budding photographer I swear! :D

It says, "Someone in NYC loves Me!" Awwww. Should change to LA!
Interesting picture right! Spot me :D
I tell you, I am so getting this piece for Topshop tomorrow! Love it! :D

Of course there were many more 自恋 shots of me in the changing room but I am just too embarrassed to put it all up here! There are more at Facebook and I am going to ask Hui to upload more too (: She didn't upload everything ):

Yep! I honestly need such lovely interruptions in my daily mundane life of school to perk me up and make me WHEEE~

You can ask Yanhui how crazily I was behaving in the changing room.

Stress level's too high yo!

Boyfriend's one of the daily perks that I look forward to too! But he's taking far too long to come back. I swear, I am falling asleep ):

Okay, maybe I will go catch a nap! Bye world!

2009-04-02T21:26:00.002+08:00

Look at the things I undergo to treat my hand. I swear the wax was like so effing hot okay that I wanted to curse and swear at the sinseh. And also, I went for 推拿 and the sinseh was being so fierce in treating my hand okay. The amount of strength that he put into treating my hand was like a ... i don't know. Pain!!! ):

I am watching this channel 8 show with Joshua Ang in it and all he can say in the show is, 你行的！ Dying of laughter!

Boyfriend, I am procrastinating about doing your present cos somehow there's just this thought in me that you are not going to like the present ): Sulks- How now brown cow.

2009-03-29T15:36:00.003+08:00

Friday was just a tour around Singapore with Hau Simin! =D

We climbed up super high places just to take pictures!
This is her, trying to look brave doing this action up there!
And me? I am scared of out my wits! DUH! I am freaking scared of heights damnit!

Friday was also, JOMEL HO'S BIRTHDAY! :D

HAPPY 18 JOMEL HO!
It has been so long since we went out shopping or just slacking around together! Hurry date me out soon and we'll go talking and shopping okay! :D Yaye! And don't forget, no matter how old you grow, there's always Inez Lau to be childish with you kay! :D

Her birthday basically summarizes the whole day of School on Friday. That's how pathetic school is okay! ):

After school, went out with Ah bu to Kallang Entertainment place to eat our BUFFET! Aw shiok! 3 plates of salmon sashimi is like WOOO! :D And also many more that we ate. And I think she ate more than me that day! Great job! :D

And then we went to explore the Singapore Indoor Stadium cos she needed to find out where it was so that she can go for her JJ concert!

IMPORTANT NOTE:
You know on Saturday, it was Earth hour right! And JJ was having concert in the Indoor Stadium! SO not active in conserving the environment. TSK!

But anyway, yeah then we slacked around and she accompanied me home ONLY because she wanted to go to his shop near Maxwell (which she was unable to find eventually!)

HERE IT COMES! GREATEST NEWS OF ALL!
I finally won money in a Mahjong Game! I WON A FRIGGING 15 BUCKS FROM MY MAHJONG GAME ON SATURDAY NIGHT! (((((:

jumps up and down in excitement!

Okay but I got to repent cos, I neglected my Boyfriend cos of the game. I AM VERY SORRY BOYFRIEND! WON'T DO IT AGAIN OKAY ): SORRYYYYY!

Ogay, that's all to my boring life ): yawns-

2009-03-22T23:40:00.002+08:00

他不是第一选择，他是唯一的选择。
因为，第一有被取代的可能，只有唯一，才能够到永远；

Many people asked me these questions before. How to maintain? Isn't it like not having a boyfriend at all? Rather than spending time thinking about such questions, I rather spend the time on refining this relationship.

If you spend your whole lifetime searching for the right one, and using the excuse "He's not the right one" when you meet with quarrels or setbacks, you will just spend your whole entire life searching. I'd rather use the time to make sure that this is the right relationship for me.

This whole thing is just random (:

2009-03-22T23:08:00.002+08:00

Went out to support the cheerleaders in the evening today for Cheerobics (: Great job Wildcards! (: I think they did really well for a young team!

Outfit for the day! (I think I look real fat)
We were basically camwhoring everywhere and anywhere.
Hello my favourite lovelys! J and Tiff (:
The smiley face was just too cute to resist! :D

Okay that's all for now. There are like more pictures in my camera but I am just oh too lazy to upload it onto my computer. So just stay with whatever I have.

I think my blog is getting more and more pictures in each post. (:

I am feeling super tired and drained and in a "I miss my Boyfriend" mode so I should get so sleep early before I go into the emo mode or the grouchy mode. And today I think my dress makes me look really fat. Of course I didn't post the fat pictures up here. I refuse to do so.

I need to go sleep;

I miss you Boyfriend ):

2009-03-22T00:13:00.003+08:00

Today was Home Club Flea with Queen! :D Went down to like support VJ Knights and Wildcards for the SKM Competition. Well done for both teams though I didn't see the Wildcards performance. Looking forward for their performance at Cheerobics tomorrow :D

All these photos are in random order!

We met this really cute girl at Clarke Quay after the flea thing (: She was so attracted to Siew Boon's ice cream and she couldn't stop eating her ice cream!
Look at her cute yet greedy expression!
Looking at her bow reminds me of Jomel!
Camwhoring behind her while she is looking for her makeup!
I was camwhoring as per normal. And then...... (look down)

天啊！鬼啊！ HAHAHAHAS :PMirror plus girls equals to camwhore! :D
Outfit for the day! :D Tank + vest + jeans!
I look so sian while she is entertaining herself with her specs!

Today was just a spend a lot a lot of money day! ): I am super upsetthat I cannot control my spending urge okay! ): RAWR.

But I bought this really cute oversized tank okay! It is yellow and it is bright. I think I am like wearing tomorrow so maybe there will be more pictures about my cute top. But I think it will be so AA that people around me will feel so paiseh. Hmmm. I will consider. Anyway, I got that for $15 la.

I also bought some really really cute postcards that I am going to give Boyfriend so I won't mention what is it here (: Surprise element!

Oh and did I mention, I just got myself another bag. My mom's gna kill me.

Total expenditure:

Bag plus headband - $20
Yellow oversized - $15
Postcards - $4
Grey offshoulder - $15
Bracelets - $8

Total Amount Spent = $62

The rest of the money was like spent on food. I brought like about $80 out I think. Money is flowing out of my bank account like free. I want oversized tees! I really want more oversized tees even though I have like my Audrey Hepburn one, my Levi's one, my yellow one. I want MORE MORE MORE.

IMPORTANT!!
There was this very irritating stall. Cos I was like pondering whether should I get this white oversized thing. I keep visiting it like a few times. And guess what they paste on that shirt?

If it is haunting you, just get it!

OMG she is like so slutty please! So irritating. Okay I am off to sleep to like kill my anger. And Boyfriend is still not online yet. ):

2009-03-15T02:58:00.005+08:00

First picture to be up for today's post shall be the picture that entertained me the most!

Pigs are starting to learn how to fly these days huh!
One's not enough, they come in pairs! :P
Retarded people doing retarded things to brighten my retarded day in school. Pretty thankful for their sudden retarded performance to relieve me of VOG stress. But they are simply just too retarded. Just had to post this up yo :D

Okay, shall backtrack on my days now!

Firstly, congrats to LIM PINGHUI for the Radio Idol thing! :D
Board thing from s63, sunflower from mj and yanhui.
Donuts from Wenyi and I was the photographer :D
Camwhoring in the toilet yo! (I think I look wide)
Pubbing before that at Haji Lane! :D Found a totally awesome hangout that is so suitable for couples and friends to hang out and just chillac there!

I'll bring you there if you're nice to me (:

Picture of the happy us after the alcoholic experience!
Outfit for the day! (I look too one pieced!)
Alright, whatever is above happened on Saturday and on Friday, we had a Mahjong stayover at Kelly's house!

Guess what! Weizhen was there! :D So happy!
Kekule Huat Ang Tiong! I just had to post up your unglam pic! And of cos with Geum JanDi at the back! HAHAHS :D
Main purpose of this post is to show the world the 2 skinny girls in class who keeps hallucinating that they are fat. Please, knock some sense into them yo!

Alright, that's all for pictures for now :D I am like super happy today cos PingHui won the special award thing and we were like totally screaming for her like siao! She is like so pro! I totally thought that, the type of special mention to a certain contestant would only happen in dramas, but now, it happened in real life to my FRIEND somemore! Best.

After the competition, we went to makan Donuts and went over to Haji Lane to eat and drink. Falala! Camwhore like mad but pictures mostly not with me yo ): Sad. Cos I haven upload the cheerleading vids and I have no space in my camera to take pictures! Aye.

Love the cafe! Boyfriend, I'll bring you there soon!

I totally love nua-ing on Lin Wenyi. I guess she's like the one of the rare few girls who will just allow me to flop onto her and not complain for a really long time! :D

Main Gist of mahjong is just that, this is the first time I didn't lose everything! SO YES! I am improving like mad (: WATCH OUT YO!

Finally, one last group picture for my blog!
P.S: Just look at who are the reddest and you know who are the alcoholics of the team! HAHAHAHS!

Okay I need to sleep and wake up early to call Boyfriend! :D Goodnights friends! I foresee a long week next week. I need all the rest I can get!

2009-03-12T01:41:00.004+08:00

Just felt like updating with pictures today despite my DAMN TIRED mode. Recently there are like people who told me that I totally do not look like the type of person who will dress super lady-like.

Totally don't know whether to treat as insult or compliment.

So I've decided to like upload some pictures of me and Girlfriend's date out to Astons to eat after her ODAC training (: Ladylike me! Behold!

We queued for damn long, so while waiting, TADAH
Ignore the random guy behind.
Totally love the whole ambiance here!
There you go, my dress + vest outfit for the day!
Another full length! :D I'm in Tiffany's favourite vest colour! :D

Okay I officially declare that I am really dead tired. CTs are finally over but then my mood is still staying at the rock bottom. Maybe it will turn for the better after VOG (VJ's sports day)

Being in charge of an event is no joke. I mean, people may not see you for the effort you put in but whenever you make blunders, they will be around to pinpoint every single mistake you make. I am quite glad that I am almost settled for my game. I just pray for everything to run smoothly tomorrow.

There is also like Lynx cheerleading tomorrow. I just went to charge my camera and deleted all the pictures inside. Hopefully space is enough for all 6 houses. Boyfriend wants to see!

Okay I really need to sleep! I cannot take it my knee is screaming! =/

Okay there is a very important thing that I must say! :D
HAPPY 7-11! :D

2009-03-08T02:08:00.002+08:00

It was by coincidence that I went through my old phone to check whatever messages I had left in there. And I thank God that I did that (even though I am supposed to be studying now).

Relationship with Boyfriend wouldn't really be classified as a smooth one, as it can be seen from the distance that is separating the both of us now. But I am really glad at the amount of effort that he puts in to try to wake up early every single day just to talk to me for a few minutes. Especially in times of my exams. I really talk to him for the bare minimum and shoo him off. Sorry Boyfriend ):

Okay, this post is not dedicated to him.

First person I would like to thank! LIN WENYI! (:
The person who brought Tetra from my house to the airport cos we both forgot to bring her out! Thanks. You really made a great difference. And you have always been there for me through it all. A slightest pout from me, you will be able to tell that I am about to cry. Thanks for knowing me so well and always being there for me.

Hey Babe :) You know we'll be with you all the way. Hold on if you feel like letting go. Hold on cos it gets better as it goes. Don't stop cos you know it's not over.
-Lin Wenyi

Next person on the list: TIFFANY WONG MANYU!
The girl who started messaging me the earliest to ask if I needed someone to be there with me on the day of his departure. There just seem to be things which we do not need to explicitly say to each other but we can both feel it. And when I am upset, a hug from you makes it all better. Even though it gets me all teary la. :P Thanks for your hugs and butterflies dear!

Darling, just wanna say, stay strong. You've been so strong and I'm so proud of you. Sorry, I didn't really know what to say to comfort you, but I hope my presence offered you some comfort in some ways. 3 years will be over soon enough. I know Kalun loves you alot. As long as you believe, as long as you hold on stubbornly, yall will make it through. Don't worry. I'll always be here for you okay? With me around, you're never alone (: love you.
-Tiffany Wong

And coming up next: POR YEE!
Thanks for coming all the way down to send him off at the airport. And also for talking to me throughout the whole thing. Maybe you didn't realise, but you managed to distract me somehow. Thanks captain! (: And your messages really do reflect your LOUD character =/

STAY STRONG! VICE CAPTAIN.
HELLO. YOU LOOK TIRED. SKIP A LECTURE AND GO LIBRARY AND SLEEP.
-Por Yee!

And we also have my lovely PW mates! :D
Thanks for being oh so understanding about me skipping school during that period of time to spend time with my Boyfriend and also to recuperate from his departure. Your messages make me feel warm even when I am alone at home. Thanks friends. Really (:

:) yay you can always use us to distract yourself from thinking of him, teehee :)
-sushuen
aww poor girl. are you alright? you went to send your bf off today? cheer up babe. your love is strong haha. I baked muffins, bring for you! :D
-weizhen

Not forgetting the DOUBLE Js (: [I am starting to think of weird nicknames for my friends]
Thanks for the offer to the barbeque after I came back from the airport. And for making me temporarily forget about sadness cos I was so intrigued by Jomel's dad's killer aura. Thanks for your bed too Jomel! And JY for laughing at me, waking up and sleeping back again. Yall may have forgotten all these little details, but they're still hanging around in my head! :D

hey husband :D are you free tonight want come my house eat buffet lol :D
-Jomel
love you dearest scandal. be strongest alright? :)
-JY

And also, the supposed to come but didn't come Celeste Yeo! :D
I felt your well wishes by your timely message that came when I happened to be crying. Thanks for having telepathy with me at that point of time and thank God for you in my life. We may not spend the most time together, but the times that we went out together are always the best. Thanks for being the best in my life :D

Hey dear Inez:) I know you're sad. But I still love you. And no fret, you've still got the greatest love that anyone could ever know, Jesus. Keep Him close to your heart, and I pray He'll take away all your sadness and fill you with His love. Sleep tight tonight :) Celeste loves Inez.
-Celeste Yeo

There are also the people in the airport to thank. All the cheerleaders, Victorians, Wanping and all (: Thank you all for giving me the comfort and for providing me with the countless tissue paper (:

Friends are definitely people I wouldn't wanna lose. No matter what.

All those mentioned above are just a small excerpt of the concern I received during that period of time. And because I was looking through my old phone, I just had to post it up to thank those people. If your name's not up there, it doesn't mean that you are not important! It just means that my goldfish memory has gotten the better of me. And there were no messages to remind me. But I thank all my friends for being there throughout (:

Boyfriend, I will dedicate a post to you next time, let my friends have the limelight this time kay? (: I love you!

2009-03-05T00:44:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIM PINGHUI! :D
We just celebrated my birthday not long ago and now it is your turn to celebrate your birthday (:

Limpinghui aka Malia has been a really special person in my life. Other than the fact that she is like classmates with me for 6 years, she has been tolerating all my nonsensical behaviour more than anyone else. All the tantrums and bad tempers that she has to put up with!

It is certainly not an easy feat to be a close friend of Inez Lau!

Thanks for making the extremely difficult job seems so easy (: Without you in my life, I wouldn't know who to whine to when I am sad and stressed and who to talk to when I am like emo or who to lean on when I am crying.

Thanks for all the extra comfort that you've provided me with.

Though I am with a Boyfriend now, that doesn't mean that you matter any lesser in my life :D You still play a big role okay! Love ya darling!

ANYWAY! Vote for Limpinghui at 933FM Voice Idol competition
http://www.yes933.sg/portal/site/yes933 Click here and vote for NUMBER 2 on the bottom left hand corner! Please do vote as many times as you can! :D
It is her birthday yo! Be nice to her :D

AND ALSO, HAPPY BELATED 18 TO JENNIFER! :D
One day before Pinghui's birthday! :D

Hello dear! It is your birthday! This is actually the first year that I am mentioning you on my blog for your birthday! Actually, to be honest, we have never really been like exceptionally exceptionally close in the course of our friendship.

But I don't know why, you are definitely a friend that I wouldn't want to lose.

As cliche as it may sound, but having you around in the clique is as if having someone who knows me, maybe it is because both of us have boyfriends. But now we have Mujia into our gang too :D Hahahas! Soon, there will be more!

Thank you for always playing along with me with the "never button up and you're not my wife" game! It certainly brought many smiles in my Cedar life and I wished you are here with us in VJ!

TEN may not see one another everyday, but there is one thing that I am very sure of, we do keep one another in a secret place in our hearts (:

YAYE! Love you and Pinghui to the max yo! :D

2009-03-01T21:04:00.002+08:00

Your Superstar (:
If you see this damn crazy girl on the streets of Orchard on Saturday, yep that is me. I cannot believe that I actually wore that blue leggings out! But oh wells, I think I look good. So who cares (:

Love Boyfriend for saying that he would still walk with me if I wore this out (:

2009-02-27T00:10:00.002+08:00

This picture fully depicts my emotions now.

Praying is perhaps the only thing that can pull me through the Common Tests this time. I totally do not have the time to study. Today I wanted to study in school while waiting for Ah bu to finish her training.

BUT! Cheerleading appeals to me more than studies apparently.

Or rather, helping them do cheer brought much joy and laughter to my day today. And of course it brought back a sense of nostalgic feeling! I miss those days when we sat down on the cheer mats and just slack and listen to poryee sing with his off-pitched voice. (I honestly wonder how can he be in band when he is so tone deaf when he is singing)

Back to reality, going for the cheer practice today means that I totally wasted one whole day of potential studying. I totally lack the discipline okay! ):

SOMEONE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DRILL IN ME MOTIVATION!

2009-02-22T17:36:00.002+08:00

你知道为什么打勾勾一定要用小指吗？
因为翻转过来，打勾勾的两只手就像一颗心。
所以，打勾勾其实就是用心许下沉诺，
不管相隔多远，许下的承诺，我都会信守。

Melts- (:

2009-02-22T00:28:00.003+08:00

My studded black jacket bought from sgflea (:
[Though you can't really see the studs in this picture la!]
Taking picture while talking on the phone with Bf (:
What kind of shit face is this Tiong!

This whole week has been super busy and rushing everywhere for everything. I think there is like a general feel in the class that we are damn busy but we don't know what things are we busy with. It is like so weird. But yeah, that's the general cloudy feeling that is hovering in class now. I think the feeling is just going to intensify when SYF period draws nearer.

Took a part of the video with House Comm on Friday night (: We were basically scaring ourselves and I got freaked out by Ciyi many times that night!

Many thanks to:

Tiong
Kaichun
Ciyi
Kenickie
Evil

for helping us in the production of the videos! :D

Today was just a day of slacking the whole time and talking to Boyfriend and all (: Had to go down to Far East to collect my f21 spree things from the online shop owner. Couldn't find people to go with me. Thank God for Love for calling me at the right time. He accompanied me on the phone throughout the whole journey.

And tempted me to eat and buy more stuff.

Shit man ): I am such a sucker to temptations. Especially shopping temptations. I just saw this studded bracelet online that is damn chio! My gosh.

Okay, Inez Lau is damn stressed that she is not stressed for CTs ): Shit man. Someone, help me gain back my momentum to study ): Eff.

{edit}
男子汉的力气，不是用来打架，是用来保护喜欢的人
男子汉的勇气，不是用来闹事，是拿来面对挑战
told you I am a sucker for sweet scenes! :D

2009-02-15T23:07:00.000+08:00

I wish I can just flop to the bed now. Countless calls tonight about House comm stuff. Finally House Comm is starting to be very much more active in my life so I shouldn't complain right? But I am tired and there are like countless of tutorials waiting for me to conquer ):

No I did not change my blog to the Livejournal one, as asked by many. But it's just that I find it easier to upload pictures there so all the image heavy post will be there (:

Maybe, I might change to Lj, but who knows. Not now at least.

Okay I need to bathe and do work. STOP SHOPPING INEZLAU STOP IT! I hate to deal with buyers that ask so many questions. But oh well, quality service quality service!

2009-02-15T02:24:00.002+08:00

For more pictures, please refer to my detailed post at http://printedflorals.livejournal.com or click on the above picture (:

I am dead beat! I am going to bathe and sleep now. Time check: 0227!! Valentines day post took me SOOOOO long. But it's worth it for the lovely darlings! :D

2009-02-12T16:57:00.001+08:00

Inez Lau is damn happy now cos she has fortune cookies on her blog (:
BEAMS-

And and and, HAPPY ELATED EIGHTEEN TO LOVE! :D